my old aches become new again

oh boy, here we go, i made the connection

I spent so many days dedicated

and so many nights alone

I became forgetful, forgiving and boring.

i was used like a wishing well

begged for advice and criticized for things a previous me had thought okay

I saw the bullet hole in my own head from staring at myself from the backseat of my own life

and now I feel no remorse, I feel no pity

the boy to built forgive has not forgotten

locked in a cage, change my hair to try and escape

work for you, provide for you but now I'm biting the hand that feeds and somehow I feel excused

a future me will wish to hug the me I am right now or beg him to just go to bed 

but this is what happens when you're in empathy debt

god I'm gnawing at the bars, just to prove that they can break

there are eyes in my closet, hands in my pockets and names in my phone

secrets don't make friends, but they do make headlines

I look forward to forgiving you

I pray you can forgive me too

no more question marks please, I still have the last one lodged in my back

everyone wants a piece of me

 but I just want peace of me

when will I be looked at as someone with something for me

everyone looks at me with their mouths watering

waiting to see where I go next so they can plot the map and take the credit

one day I want to be seen as a man with traits, a man with strengths

not someone to steal from or some sort of king

do not compare yourself to me and then accuse me of stealing your joy

I cant make myself more digestable for you

I was never meant to eat

if I change my mind, its because its mine to change

you cant give me stockholm if I'm already stircrazy