New year,new me,new addiction (TW for alcohol perhaps)

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What a way to come back.

I don't know if I'm here to ask for tips on how to deal with the issue or if I'm here to just process the information that i still can't quite accept,but the thing is i seemingly start getting a way too close relationship with an alcohol...somehow,despite the fact that i can't stand anything stronger than the things like champagne/mulled wine/etc.My extremely low tolerance is probably playing the role in this though,helping me get tipsy even from those-

I don't know what suddenly made me perk up thinking "Wait,this is not okay" — whether it's the fact that i think of drinking as a way to calm myself down,or the money that i recently wasted just to have those infernal cans currently cluttering one of my drawers (and maybe,just maybe be a bit woozy this exact moment)  —,but here i am.

Here i am,and I'm confused as heck 'cause how could a person,who most of the time can't even drink a good wine without cringing away due to it "being too strong",get addicted to this kind of thing?This is so ridiculous that i don't even know if i should take my predicament seriously,because that's just laughable.Shameful even!