why humans?

okay, living beings, let's talk about a serious subject that i see a very small number of people talking about.

why do human beings repress emotions and feelings if they are what make us human beings? why do we pretend to feel something we don't?

one topic that i've seen several people discuss is : the act of kissing and having sex with strangers.

i know that i may just be a teenager who has never done any of this, but i see many teenagers and young adults talking about these subjects with a normality and indifference that makes me wonder: how can you do this? for me, and i think for some people too, kissing and having sex with someone should be something you do with someone you love, someone you trust deeply and have known for a long time. i see them as a vulnerable act to do, something that unfortunately the porn industry and lust have turned into something dirty and just an exchange of momentary pleasure.

i can't understand the act of, for example, going to a party and simply kissing several strangers there without even knowing their names, or having sex with a stranger you haven't even known for an hour. they are human, you are human, everyone has their story and a set of qualities and defects that make you unique among almost 8 billion humans. how can you choose to ignore all of this just to use this person for your own pleasure? this is not something you simply exchange with strangers for your own pleasure, it is something you should only do with someone you love and someone who should love you before thinking about it. i don't understand how you can do this.

in the same way that i don't understand how you can start dating someone without feeling anything for them. dating is the first of three steps towards marriage. it is also not something you do with someone you don't know or feel anything for. you don't date someone out of pity, it is much crueler than rejecting them. pretending to feel the same way about someone who sees you on a pedestal is terrible. and the excuse of staying with them because you don't want to hurt them is the most cruel thing i've ever heard.

you won't please everyone in the world, some will love you and others will hate you, there is no one with whom everyone agrees with their opinions. you will always hurt someone and that is a burden that you can't simply ignore. not wanting to hurt someone you're dating but no longer feel the way you used to is not possible. you've already hurt them by promising something that wasn't real, pretending to feel what deep down you knew you didn't feel.

and something that irritates me is people creating "theories" as excuses to be jerks. an example is the three-month theory. for the love of God. in my opinion, the three-month theory should be applied before you officially start dating, during the conversation phase. it would avoid many failed relationships and broken hearts. this is not something scientific. of course, you enter a honeymoon phase and find everything completely perfect about that person, but then you are very disappointed when you see how that person really is. that's why there are questions. spend three months talking to find out more about that person, about past relationships, quirks, what they don't like and that kind of thing. don't put them on a pedestal, because no one is perfect.

i honestly only saw one person discussing on this topic, which is : about overcoming a person.

i see people talking about this issue of being able to get over a person really quickly, like in a day or a week. not everyone, but many. from the bottom of my heart, how the hell do you do that? both with friendships and crushes?

i have never been able to get over or forget anyone in my life, not even those who hurt me a lot. i remember all the friends i've ever had, the kids i played with in kindergarten, the boy i ran after during lunch break, the group of teenagers i talked to during the pandemic, my first trio of friends that lasted three years, my group of friends from two years ago, definitely the people i've fallen in love with and many more that i'd rather not give details about.

i haven't forgotten them, i haven't forgotten any moment i've lived with them. i still find myself wondering how they are, what happened to them and if they still remember me. I think about the girl I was in love with, I wonder if she's upset with me. I think about my ex-boyfriend, I wonder if he's okay, if he hates me and if he misses everything we went through together.

they all grew up with me, were part of my story and were extremely important to me. i can't imagine pretending they never existed for me, forgetting everything we went through. if i don't remember that, who would?

no one is replaceable. everyone is a set of different qualities, some more introverted, others more extroverted. some more talkative, others better at listening. some stressed, others calm. some more affectionate and others can't express themselves that way and so on. each one had their own voice, their own hair, different facial features, their own way of dressing, their own way of speaking. people are unique, no one is the same deep down. we meet unique people every time we talk to someone.

i can't do any of that. i remember everything and even if i don't one day, i have notebooks with everything written in them. i miss everyone, every moment. i couldn't forget them even if i tried.

the last, but clearly not least, topic is : why don't we allow ourselves to live and feel things?

feeling that fear when we get an unexpected scare? that butterflies in our stomach when someone we like compliments us? the cold hitting your skin and making you feel extreme? the heat consuming your body and making you sweat? that joy when we achieve something we've wanted for a long time? that pain of getting burned by a candle flame? that anguish in your chest when you find out that someone you like is dating someone else? that anger at being betrayed by someone? that regret at not having lived that moment? the sadness when someone makes a mean comment? the hurt when someone important walks away without giving a reason?

if you don't allow yourself to feel any of this, what makes you feel alive and not just surviving?

i understand that many people can't allow themselves to feel some of these things because of their past or because they're shy, but do you really want to allow yourself to lose a feeling or an experience because of what others think or for some other reason? you only have one life, less than a century to do billions of things, feel thousands of feelings, meet billions of people, eat millions of different foods and a zillion other things.

you only have one life, don't take it too seriously because you'll end up dead and probably forgotten anyway.

i know it can be something distressing and desperate to imagine, but sometimes we need to go through things like this to be strong and truly live. don't live in anguish and don't think that life has no meaning, because that stops you from living and enjoying everything. if you think life has no meaning, make it have it.

live life. say everything you think, say how you feel, say what you want, do what you want, act how you want...

i hope what i wrote has helped someone in some way. if you don't agree and want to share your thoughts on these topics, feel free to give your opinions in the comments, just remember : no one has a wrong opinion about anything and no one has to like or agree with anything you said, don't care about it.

live your life humans, feel everything and good luck wherever you end up :)