talking to myself (and you) (if you want)

ive been struggling to wrap my head around the idea of a blog/diary since forever, and i still really dont understand it, or why people do it...but! the reason ive decided to start this blog/diary/whatever is cause i want to read my thoughts, ive never kept track of what i think at any point in my life so i have lots of trouble with memory and time so im starting this. i keep this for as long as i can. if your reading, hi, i dont know you, you dont know me, but, just for a bit, lets talk.

well not really talk, you cant respond, not while im typing this at least, i think ill keep comments and messages open for now, or for always, ill have to decide later. im not sure what kinda freaks lurk here, hopefully your not a freak, well like, you could be freaky but not like a bad freak, i like that word, good descriptor, is descriptor a word, i love words, looking into the origin/roots of words are so fun, im bad at spelling though, you can probably tell, its worse withought spell correction, ive never been good at spelling, or jus putting words/sentences together in a coherent way, or in a way that doesent sound like rambling. im writing this on a laptop, im a big fan of this little gadget, shes real neat, i got her for chrismas, my dad and his girlfriend got it for me, along with a mouse and sylus. there cool, my dad and his gf, there not the most upstanding citizens, and i really dont like their social/political opinions, but there family, i dont have any siblings, and my mom dosent really like to 'hang out' with me, she loves me and we go shopping and eat sometimes but we dont really do anything else, my dads the oppisite, hes constantly asking to hang out when hes in town, which is nice but im not really an extrovert and get overwelmed/tired of outside activites pretty quick, which he gives me a hard time about but hes just lonely. i like drawing, i think i like drawing, since octaber ive been struggleing but i think im getting better, ive been iching to animate something but i dont know what, ill get over this little art block soon, i always get over it, im excited for when im over it cause i miss drawing, i also miss posting stuff, maybe thats why im keeping this public, i like to imaging someone like you reading this when your bored and just wanna hear (hear?) someone youll never meet talk about something you dont really care about. sorry to keep calling you out, if thats jarring my bad. i miss my friend, i can still text her and i went to her house last weekend, but theres no one fun at this school, i dont talk to anyone, like anyone anyone, it suck here, everyone is boreing. if i make a friend then itll be funny to read this in retrospect. i have to go now, its next class peroid, ttyl 

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