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life seems strange

life seems strange, i’m feeling grateful.

two weeks ago it felt like everything was falling apart.

today i am loving life.


i wake up in the morning and feel immense gratitude for the simple fact that my period has started. i realize that i have a month of free time before the next semester starts and i feel ecstatic. i look around my small studio apartment and realize that what i’ve dreamt of for the longest time is now mine to enjoy. life feels fresh and promising. perhaps that’s just january’s crisp cold air.


it always feel strange coming out of a depressing episode. life always feels so new afterwards. it's a comforting feeling, but a strange one indeed. it's hard to be human, maybe that's why i am so obsessed with the internet. online you can be whatever you want, online you are reduced to pretty pixels and custom codes. i aspire to have the same sense of control over reality. lately, i have managed to gained it.


it is almost scary how my reality unfolds before me these past few days. as if i paint it with my thoughts. and all i wish for comes to me so effortlessly, almost as if i'm coding my life the way i have coded my spacehey page.


life seems so strange, i'm feeling grateful






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mono1no_aware

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I’m really glad to hear you’ve come out of your depressive phase . Honestly , I think a depressive period is one of the worst things that can happen in life . It’s like your life just stops . So I’m truly happy for you that you’ve managed to get through it , and I hope it never comes back .

As for being yourself online but not being able to fully be that in real life , I think if you feel in control online , that’s already a big step . Honestly , I find it hard to be myself even online , let alone in real life . So I sincerely hope you have an amazing time during your month off , and that everything in your life feels as easy and good as it does online !!!!!
: ))))


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thanks so much for such kind words girlie! honestly, i sometimes debate if its possible to be "yourself" online because humans are so fluid and multidimensional and digital space doesn't allow us that. that's why digital environments have more control imo, then irl. but regardless of it all, i am just trying to enjoy existing both online and offline and have fun with it, regardless of the specifics :) hope you do too!! <3

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