Log #2

1-22-25
Hey guys, been a sec, I got busy.
I have a powerbook g4 coming in on the 27th ill be able to use, yippie another laptop!!!
Do you ever just wanna trow it all away?
Dance like a stripper?
Pole dance like there is no tommorrow.
I already have no plans for my future.
suck dick for money and throw it all away.
I want to bury my self in a hell, I want to fly away.
I want to lose myself, I ewant to go out in a roaring ball of fire of pure desire.
I want to throw it all away.
I want to drown myself in ectasy.
But i have just a little too much to hold onto now.

should I even have these thought, is this some sort of masochism?

am i defective?

I can barely remember who i am, i dont have too much memory of my past anyways.
somedays i just wanna give up.