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Life is so strange, it's so short but sometimes it seems so long. I don't really know how to interact with people and I guess other people don't know it too. I struggle everyday with communication, not because I'm sick or what, just because I don't know how to achieve it. I prefer writing, but I know I'll never read my texts again. So I found out about Spacehey 2 days ago and thought, oh hey it looks like a good place to meet people and express myself. But now I just thought that I could also use Spacehey like a serious blog for me. I can express my feelings, say what I think, tell people what I like, without people knowing me or to use my voice. If you're reading this, you can add me and dm me I would really appreciate to talk with someone. I need to train myself for this. Sometimes I think to myself, what if other people don't think like me, if I'm different. A lot of people are saying this, my mother thought I was autistic when I was a little kid. They never read the results if I remember what she told me. I'll probably make another blog about this next time. I want to talk about how amazing the world is. I love art, I love to get to know new cultures, I love hiking. I am too young to just go and do what I want to do, but I'm craving for it. I see so many people, into fashion, into art, into hiking, having a so pretty life without caring for money or their future. They just live day to day. I'm litteraly crying because of how they can accomplete what I dream for. They're taking so good pictures, with so nice clothes, with a so pretty view, and than draw something related in a so damn well style... And than, I'm also grateful for those things and people to exist because of them, it can continue and I and other people will get influenced in good things. But I'm scared. Scared of what will come next, scared of dissapointement. What if wjat I'll do, will not make me happy, will not make my family happy, will not be as good as I thought. What will I do when I will grow up and not be some awkard, loser, weird teenager in his room. I will face the world like an adult and I iwll wotk to earn money so I can acomplete what I wanted to achieve. And it's all about little thoughts going in my head, having nobody to explain it or just talk about it. So I'll make blogs, hopefully will find friends who will listen to me. Friends with the same mentality or passions. I don't really know, but thanks.
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CodeintheInternet
When it comes to connecting with people you can use your likes and skills to bond with them. If you find someone that has the same love for things like writing/art yall will click easily and explore deeper into those subjects sharing thoughts/views! Thankfully, you are on the right track to find people that like subjects related to those stated ANDDD you are voicing your emotions using Spacehey- so welcome!!!
Now about the part where you start questioning your likeability, no one can be the ultimate people pleaser. Someone in someway at some time will be barking the "wrongs" you have in the ways you deal with life. While from time to time these "wrongs" can be genuine criticism- so do have an open mind to people's opinions, but that won't always be the case for all. There are people that will and can take you down for a laugh. So do what you love, defend what makes you smile, protect what chains you reality.
But I'm glad you found hobbies, ideas, and other spices of life that got you hooked. Do explore those in more detail and determine whether or not it fits you, while being aware of the dangers/draw backs to them. Though, just because your role models are seemingly having fun with their life doesn't mean they have it all figured out. We are all humans here, we aren't robots hard coded into pure smiles, sunshine and rainbows. The bad times exist so we can figure out when the good times are here. So just because they have nice clothes and some cash doesn't make them the person that they are. They found something that made their world feel refreshing, they are chasing that special thing with no looking back, while making it possible to have it easier and less sacrificing/taxing to them. They found their goal in life.
Finally, for the last thing- you're overthinking it. Plain and simple. I'd recommend you to focus on the present, what's in front of you. What you can touch- what you can see- what you can act towards. It will seem like not enough is happening but be patient. The world around you was built with time, the time it took was long, but it eventually did come. With hard work, dedication and patience.
You'll make it internet stranger, I believe in you <3