a young adult who’s living in a constant state of fear n misery

hey... whats up guys my name is yen nd i Just created my spacehey acc for like mins ago so pls b nice to me... i am a young adult living in ph (sounds funny lol) i live in ph n w my parents (im 21 btw) .. yall i c4nt believ that im 21 cuz.. i dunt Feel like 21 years old... idk.. idk How 2 liv.. my parents still strict 2 m.. im always sneaking out 2 meet people n hav fun but.. id say.. im the black sh33p of thiz f4mily.. i hate being d family disappointment.. but i d0nt feel happy ins1de my r00m cuz bedrotting sucks n my depression keeps being worst n worst when im just 1n my r00m.. i m enj0y1ng my life when im like hours away here.. i h4te church people they r making m feel sick and fucked up !! (i hav religious family and they were sooo strict n they wanted m to b p4rt of the church but i dont w4nt cuzz id say im not n i dont feel like being a part 0f these religious shits !!! they W4NTED ME BEING THE CLEAN SOFT GIRL BUT IM NOT !!!! ) i know soon i could just runaway... thats it.. UHM.. THERES M0R3 but im so t1r3d t0 typ3... LOL.. by3 :D