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i fall right at the tail end of gen z/millenial handover time period, right (i was born in 2002) and i feel like in my soul i am equal parts gen z and millenial. my sisters and i definitely didnt have a super gen z upbringing, like we didnt really have much tech going on so we'd always be playing outside or with toys or doing arts and crafts. i was too young when myspace was a thing, i was too young when tumblr was still good, and now all the social media we have now is shithouse. as a 22 loner who spent their teenage years being a lame uptight christian nerd and then severely depressed, i feel like my youth didnt live up to its full potential. so now, i'm at the age when i'm meant to be getting into the fulltime workforce and growing up but i cant stop yearning for this lost youth. i have some freaky obsession with the like teenage rebel vibe, but still in a fairly tame way. like the pinterest version of teenage rebel. i wanna be 16 and sneaking out after dark to just hang out in an empty carpark with my friends, or going to gigs in a random overcrowded bar even though i dont know half the songs, stupid shit like that (it's giving main character in a dumb coming of age indie film). but alas, i grew up in a tiny village in nowhereland that's like 80% old people and at the time i had no desire to live that kind of life. now i do want that, but i still live in this dumb little town and i'm in my no friends era so i still cant have that. it actually saddens me that i'll never get to have the young and dumb experience because i'm too afraid to leave home (last time i moved out i got the worst depression of my life and had to come back home) and i fear that by the time i eventually leave i'll be a fully fledged grown up and the window will have closed. and i know it's dumb to be mourning such a silly, meaningless concept but i have the unshakable feeling that my youth was stolen from me (by the depression and by my own lameness) and i feel it could've been so much fun if i had it now. in the words of luke hemmings i have nostalgia for a time that never existed. anywho, so setting up this account tonight has given me some kind of grasp on an idea of hope that maybe i dont have to miss out entirely.
nostalgia for a time that never existed
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テ オ
I'm like two years older than you and had that same problem but kinda found a solution to it. Honestly just go outside. Drop your phone, delete social media, forget it ever existed or only access it at the end of the day via computer.
And just go outside. Walk around mindlessly for a while, try stuff. You won't figure shit out while being online. But if you go outside and don't spend time on your phone you'll start to think. And just do that. Don't listen to music either, just be alone with your thoughts. If you haven't already, write down your thoughts in a journal.
And try stuff, you'll find friends so fast. I'm saying this as an autistic introvert. Do something you enjoy, go to places where you can do it and you'll find people who also love it. Then suck it up for 5 seconds and say hello to those people.
If you manage to suck it up, then you know you can do it and it will be much easier the next time too. It won't just make you find friends, but also be more open and stuff.
So just leave the internet behind for a while, it's the best you can do. And I can promise you, you'll find what you're missing.
that's a very nice way of saying 'touch grass', and you're so right. i think if if i had a permanent little voice in my ear telling to suck it up and do it/say hello, my life would be very different so i'll endeavour to remember.
by moon; ; Report
Bastler
I was born only a year before you were, but lots of what you said struck a note with me. Definitely was too young for MySpace (didn't stop me from trying lol), and didn't have a computer until I was older. I think the economic crash of 2008 messed with everyone, back when I was a kid I didn't see it but looking back I think that might be a contributing factor to never having anything to really do. I still look back on those times fondly even if they weren't the 'proper' shared experience.
The other commenter made the biggest point—it's important to spend the time you've got doing cool stuff, making memories, and really living. These will eventually be the times you look fondly upon!
there really is something special about reflecting on your childhood and being able to pinpoint what it was that made your experience seem so different to everyone around you (hello working class). my childhood, i wouldn't change, it's moreso my adolescence that's of concern; but it's really not that deep i'm just a drama queen.
by moon; ; Report
Brilli
let me hug you, buddy. i'm 22 years old and i know what you mean. you're not alone 'cause i miss my childhood and youth too. i hope you will be fine. have a good day.
hug accepted! i'm okay, i've just been burdened with the thought daughter curse and found a new outlet for spilling my guts to the universe.
by moon; ; Report
🫂🤍
by Brilli; ; Report
XxRedwoodxX
As someone who spent my teens and early 20s living as freely as one can possibly (besides all the time I was in a cell), its not all its cracked up to be. Those memories are good, but are they better than when I put christmas lights up, got high, played GUN for the Original Xbox? No, not really. Its good to have a healthy level of exploration, a want to do something more, to reflect on life choices, but dont let it bog you down because then you are just making yourself feel worse for no reason, and those memories suck. Hope you feel better fam
so true bestie, will do my best to escape The Bog.
by moon; ; Report
Thats trademarked! Dont you dare steal it!!!!
by XxRedwoodxX; ; Report