sad bday and ?toxic? ex

this is js me wanting to rant a bbit more about my last post so here we go. 

im turning 18 in 51 days and i dont have anyoe to spend the day with. my bday is on a thursday and i m usuall yin the stable then so that wont be a problem and then its friday so ill have work and after that is the weekend. my parents expect me to go out to some bar then, theyre already asking about it and i dont know how to tell them im not going or that id have to go alone. its rlly breaking me and i know my parents would feel so bad if they knew. 

when i was younger i had a lot of problems with my best friend and was getting frezeed out and seriously bullied by her and another one of her friends and i dont know how many hours i spent crying to my mom about being alone back then. i feel like it would be the same thing only 10 years later and its rlly js not great. im not sure how to go from here, i might just book in random things with my work and extra riding lessons or something for like the whole week and weekend after my bday just to get my parents not to worry. 

ive let my parents down, over and over again and i cant stand doing it again. both my oldeer brothers were rlly popular when they were younger and had big parties and i wish i could at least have something. 

my ex boyfriend has asked me to come to his place instead of being alone but hes been acting wierd lately so im not sure. we ended our relationship on a good note a little over a month ago and weve been friends since then. we havent been great at it and never stopped flirting we just toned it down a bit. for a while now hes been asking a lot for nudes which i dont rlly like, im asexual and he obviously knows that. ive been very clear on not sending anything but hes still asking multiple times a day. its not like we dont text all day everyday so we do have other conversations as well but its still getting annoying. hes also been acting off whenever something involves money. i recently dyed my hair black and left my bangs a very faded purple bc i thought it was a waste to buy a whole another box dye just for the bangs (i wanted them to be hot pink) and when i told him that he said i should just get it anyways and when i said it was a waste of money he respondeed "your dad owns a company" which he doesnt but thats not th point. we do have money so it wouldnt be a problem buying it like he said but its still a waste so im not gonna do that, he juts acted rlly wierd cus thats in no way a normal response to that. his family isnt rlly wealthy but theyve got enough yk

ive asked him to come here (three hour train ride) which we used to do almost every weekened back when we were together but now suddently he says he doesnt have the money for it but he very clearly wants me to come to his. its like he wants me to spend money on him and he doesnt want to spend anything on me. 

i feel like id get used going to his cus it feels like he doesnt want to spend money on me but he wants me to have sex with him and he wants me to take him on a date and he wants me to spend my bday with him drinking - he knows i easily drink too much and black out- and hes the one who broke up with me and he knows im still in love with him and hes started leaving me on read or not answering for hours and lots of stuff just feels wierd about it. i dont know if im reading too much into it bc hes always been amazing and never done anything to hurt me or my feelings and its been the most healthiest relationship i can imagine and i do have a lot of experience with extreamly toxic and borderline abusive relationships so i might be bringing that into this but im rlly not sure. 

i dont know what to do anymore and ive never felt so alone, i dont think i have anyone at all rn, im loosing the one person i really love and its breaking me, it really is.

if anyone has any insight or just some sweet comment it would rlly help a lot, just need to feel less alone. thank you