Celestial Diaries 𖹭 // January 20th, 10:25 PM

Hello hello ! Hope you're doing good today. Remember to drink water and to eat something ! This is another day of my daily vlog <3

I have to admit that I wasn't really keeping up with my daily routine.. I've been skipping some days yet I'm hoping to have enough will strength to finally get back on track instead of oversleeping until ten lol.

I wrote some more job applications today. Hope to hear back from them within the next weeks ! Although I know exactly how the job market here is I still have hope >-<

What else did I do today... OH YEA. So I kinda ranted on my crush's dms. Since since I thought he didn't have access to his account anymore. And he wouldn't read it anyway. Besides, it feels like saying thinks to a person indirectly knowing they'll never find out. but the act of getting it out of your chest is relieving.. right?... RIGHT? BECAUSE TELL ME WHY WHEN I WOKE UP HE RESPONDED. FROM HIS ACCOUNT. SIR I THOUGHT YO HAD NO MORE ACCESS.
 It was at 4 am and I immediately started panicking and deleted ALL paragraphs knowing damn well it was too late. AND THE WORST THING IS HE NEITHER RECIPROCATED MY FEELINGS NOR REJECTED ME?? He just responded, and I quote: "I appreciate your feelings because I know how hard it is to come out. However. I dislike affection. So I could never be in a relationship." LIKE??? DOES HE LIKE ME AND IS HE SCARED OF COMMITTMENT OR DOES HE GENUELY DISLIKE ME?
When I asked him to elaborate I got left on seen.. which is not really unusual from him but.. I dunno. It's kinda hard. I tried all sorts of things to distract myself from it even tho I didn't really have any hopes since the very beginning. So atleast the disappointment wasn't too big.

Btw, can y'all give me any recipe ideas for tomorrow? I have no idea what to make for lunch and I'd like to test my culinary skills :3

That's all for today's vlog. Thanks so much for reading through. Tomorrow shall be a new day !
Love, Celes.