W for my child self :)

i dont want to be writing until 4am (its already 2.26am 0-0) but i wanted to voice this! earlier today i was sat on my bed and id just finished building some lego, a cute pink typewriter, my laptop was open, id just created this profile and i realised that me as a kid would be sooo proud of myself! I mean ok - im sure the same things i feel guilty of now my little self would be dissapointed in me too, failing college, not employed, not in educationnn ykkk. BUT !! i looked around my room and she would be over the moon. i have allll my interests on posters COVERING my walls, my PINK walls, a fresh bouquet of flowers, a laptop, a tv on a fresh white desk with my xbox, cute journals, a new book, soo many candles, a comfy bed with 8 pillows. 8!!! i have an awesome music taste. Im no longer afraid to be this mix matchy girl. when i was a kid i thought i had to chose. video games or reading. listening to rap or cutsie music. pink walls OR posters. im so mix and match (ig traditionally masculine and feminine hobbies etc) but i love it! i have a pink bow, a massive pink bow stuck on my wall next to my kanye west poster. i have a sailor moon poster next to an ice cube poster. i have my cute pink starbucks cup that i got from DISNEY WORLD IN AMERICA!! like whattt, i have a phone that has hundreds of photos from thailand. ive been so far away! i finally understand who i was praying to as a 8 year old girl and now i get to talk to that same God that child me talked to 5 times a day!!! i have pink curtains, i have hello kitty pjs and dusting powder for after i shower. i can bake! im finally ok at a fps!! i love who i am and i know young me would love me soo much. i have my ears pierced finally, and my nose pierced - TWICE! i have an adorable room that just screams, ME ! ME ! ME !!! and sorry small me, ik u felt lonely then but u have even less friends now LOL - and by less i mean present day u hasnt gone out to see anyone her age in months, but u have ur annoying brother still to go out with AND im hopeful we will find the most awesome friends in due time and ive learnt to live with myself for the most part and am happy with who i am, i dont have to be around people to enjoy myself !! 

ummm... i got abit carried away however im glad i wrote all of that; ofc its highly unlikely someone will read it all but im glad none the less :> !!

im proud i can be someone small me would of loved, if 10 year old me walked into my room now she'd jump on my awesome princess bed in joy :') 

~ samar xx                                                                                                       20.1.25 2.54am