Feelings make us disingenuous

I cant stop thinking about fucking him aaaaaa

And no, I dont mean my ex...

This other guy who I will not say anything about!!

I dont wanna ever risk him finding this post because im 98% convinced he'd block me if i ever told him what I felt. (the other 2% is pure hope lol)

Which is a shame because i used to tell him everything, my bestie! But feelings make us disingenuous..

I know I should just tell him the truth but I feel like such a pervert! How do you tell a friend you've been having "sarcasms" to the thought of him?!??

I'm not being a good friend to him and I should get over these feelings before its too late!! I can feel him starting to hate me!!