late night thoughts | venting

i really should stop going on that website. just drop all of it and leave and never go back. its hard to give it up though. the culture is funny even if it is very.. toxic? being a tripcode user and making a name for myself was fun at first. maybe i just forgot that the people on the other side were real. being on there felt more like i was playing a visual novel more than anything. i guess recent events kinda snapped me out of that way of thinking.

i hate that he thinks im trying to play the victim just because i admitted i was scared of him. i said he was uncomfortably attached to me, but he took that as me accusing him of being obsessive. i was worried about him but it scared me how much he clung to me, how much he treated me like his favorite person. it upset him when i admitted he wasnt mine, but he was well aware i had other friendships, that i had an actual relationship. i cant help but feel responsible for how it fell apart. and now the things he says about me.. did he really think that low of me that whole time? was it all a lie? as much as i enjoyed being his friend, its probably better this way. it isnt healthy for either of us.