am i just possesiveeeeee???

hii!!
its ben so long since i post blog here,.. i dont use spacehey that much...


though, i wanna ask something i felt so nervous about... its a long story tho.



yesterday i was hanging out and shopping  w my friend, just call him KH.  and we bumped into 2 people he knew about, i only know one of them and they started talking while we were at a small calligraphy museum (off topic;; its beautiful!)

but then after we left a movie we thought its boring (paddington),, more people were surrounding with the 2 people and all of them are friends w him, i know most of them sine theyre from school but i dont interact them...

two guys were crying in front of a playground/arcade (?) or something like that, because one was telling everyone hes going to johor this year and might never come back, the group of people were surrounding them because theyre gonna miss him.

i, standing next to my friend and confused, i do not give a single care, i dont know why there crying, even some of them started to cry, including KH. it was surprise to me, because when i say i might move to australia this year, nobody cried.

anyway,, they all stopped crying and KH decided to ditch me and hang out with them while i call my dad on his phone since my battery die and i need to go home at 6.


theres this feeling i was really, really humble about. i dont see KH as a romantic attract, but its like, i feel so left out and wanted to spend more time with him. now i have this feeling everytime i talked to my friends and theyre distracted by other people..  i was so jealous of how KH decided to spend time with them, how theres a large group of cool people there (not in something fashion whatever cool, but like... a basic, some sort of delinquent (and yes, theyre so called "delinquents"))


the reason why i want 2 b friends w them was because  i only have 6 irl friends  and theyre really active when it comes to hanging out   but theyre usually busy, i never got to talk to them since we all arent classmates and they wouldnt dare to think about being in my class, (everyone calls my class the so-called "delinquent gang" or u could call it... lalazai class. and it means delinquent.)

when they were taking a group photo all together, i wasnt there. i was standing almost on the corner of their photo and looking at some two girls talking to each other, they were my classmates and also apart of them but they dont want to be in the photo. they have the most unhealthy, yet trauma-bond friendship i had ever seen.


anyway back to this,,  i was really left out the whole day, even in my bed and trying to sleep,  i also wondered if KH knew about this and what he felt after ditching me