Recovering from Narcissistic Void

The paradoxical state of human existence is described simply by Lacan’s theory of lack - what makes us subjects, and not objects, is that we have a hole inside of us, we are overwhelmed by the feeling that we are missing something significant. This is what drives us to action. Yet, whenever we believe we have captured the object of our desire, we search our souls and find there is still one more piece missing. Every accomplishment is garnished with this bitter realization. We can never be satisfied. Thus, as the only species with the ability to plan far into the future, we set about writing the blueprints for the ultimate achievement - the grand architectural wonder that will make us whole, and once we have completed ourselves we can finally die. This blueprint is the narcissistic fantasy.

Media promotes narcissistic fantasies in that it allows us to thoughtlessly indulge in narrative. Personally, a lot of my media consumption is power fantasies. Some well-known examples are Wolf of Wall Street and Death Note. Curiously, such power fantasies in media almost always end in the downfall of the protagonist. This element is essential; it cleverly conceals the emptiness of the power fantasy, and of all narcissistic fantasies. The narcissistic void is the hole left in the psyche when the emptiness of the narcissistic fantasy is suddenly and irreparably revealed. This can come from either the realization that the narcissistic fantasy cannot be achieved, or it can come when it actually is achieved. The former case is easily understandable. As our future becomes more concrete, the narcissistic fantasy finds it increasingly difficult to take root.

We realize we will not become Napoleon and conquer Europe. For the latter case, let me indulge in an anecdote. I always kept a special cigarette to celebrate a certain accomplishment. In high school, I had two potential candidates: getting into college and graduate as top student. However, when both happened, they didn’t really feel significant enough to celebrate.

Greatness itself should not be pursued. If you have the potential for greatness in one domain, you will naturally be inclined towards this domain. Your motivation will not be greatness, your reward will be intrinsic. One must find their place in the world. I cannot claim that I have found my place, but I’m trying.