ranking every ryan murphy show

Hey Y'all, Before I start I just want to state that I did not talk about: The Prom, The Watcher or some other shows so If I don't speak about it don't crucify me or sum shit. THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION, I HAVE PREFERENCES AND YALL WILL LEARN WHAT THOSE ARE and I will not use caps anymore cuz I'm giving off the vibe of an angry ass bitch, I promise im not <3

(also tw: this involves sa, if you dont like it, feel free to leave :D)

19# Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Mendez Story

Ryan baby, your archive of our own addiction is showing. Ryans has a very clear fetish for true crime like him including it in one of his biggest projects: Scream Queens & American Horror Story. Exploiting True Crime is a staple of Murphy`s brand like his blood contract to Evan Peters & Sarah Paulson (EDIT: I just checked and shes a zionist so ew fuck her so anything positive I say about her take with a grain of salt,) but this just takes it to a whole new level. Creating a mlm relationship and making it “scandalous” is fucking weird especially these people you put on screen are BROTHERS WHO WERE TRAUMATIZED VICTIMS OF YEARS OF SEXUAL ABUSE FROM THEIR FATHER. There has not been a single valid piece of evidence to show these two very real people had a sexual incestious relationship. This also has a weird sense of Murphy's camp and like my brother in christ this is not the show to add your ashes of Scream Queens. This is like The Idol but worse cause the story is based off real fucking victims. This fanfiction is purely exploitative, vile, & the absolute not just worst project to stain murphys filmography but the worst show of the 2020s. 

18# American Horror Stories

Unwatchable like generally, this is Brent Rivera's vines towards The Gabbie Show`s vines. Yes American Horror Story may have literal “horror stories” behind the scenes but at-least you can watch the dumpster fire and laugh at it (also 2WAYMIRROR eats, i said what the fuck i said.) This show is bad, like really bad, the only episode I generally like is the dollhouse one, the rest are like if twilight zone and the tiktok shop had a hookup baby and it learned to be the absolute worst spinoff show ever. Also American Horror Stories is such a dumb fucking title, if you were gonna do a spinoff do it about the coven, we all wanna see Misty Day & Cordelia become a couple.

17# Monsters: The Dahmer Story

This is honestly not that bad compared to the next season. It is still crazy to be compared to the “Hauntings of ____” Anthology Series or Fear Street cause this is the black sheep (Envy Adams Typa Shit.) This show does make you feel sick to the core while the other mess of season 2 makes you feel like Ryan Murphy is writing it with his right hand. Evan Peters nails his performance like really fucking nails this shit. I like the fact they try to give the victims side of the story but yeah it is still really exploitative especially after learning that Ryan contacted 20 of the victims family but not one reached out (baby that's a clear sign of NO.) Some things are supposed to be left on the rotten mango`s podcast, put down the true crime documentary and write the show that everyone wants you to revive (we all know what show I am talking about but I am trying not to show any bias.)

16# The New Normal

oh this exists….. *coughs* cute.

Yeah, Ryan really likes white gay men like an alarming amount. No one knows this show exists and that is great with me. This is bad, not atrocious but yeah this show will not have any defenders and thank the elder gods for that. 

15# The Politician

Reasons why I don't like this show

1- It has Ben Platt and I've been brainwashed by Schaffrilas Productions to despise the poor twink

2- It reminds me of Alan Gregory, so yeah that's baddddddd

3- Like 5 years ago, My Dads Girlfriend said It would be something I would be interested in. I feel offended anytime anyone says anything like this.

4- It has Gwyneth Paltrow

5- Jessica Lange is underused and should play every role

6- It does too much and yet too little

Idk check it out if you thought Velma was overhated

14# Hollywood

Oh look its ratched`s ugly step-sister! Yeah, This show is kinda bad, not terrible or anything. For example its visuals are eating buffet WITH THE NAPKINS FROM THE MENU but it falls into Early Lana Del Rey territory rather than Mitski territory plus it has my arch-nemesis Darren Criss, Till we meet again old foe. 

13# American Sports Story

I don't like this because I don't like sports, moving on!

12# American Crime Story

Okay so this is the calm before the storm, I've never been a true crime girlie sorry. It is better than the other two combined BUT I still don't know, I'm not risking my mental health for this shit byeee. 

11# Popular

Oh Glinda the Good Witch, You will always have impact. This is kinda a generic bleh show. I mean it's not monsters or american horror stories but I don`t know its not good either. It's a pretty good debut for a showrunner, imagine 2021 gossip girl but less full of shit. Its a cute cult classic, nothing to say so let's move on. 

10# Nip/Slip

I gotta be 100% real with you, I did not care for this shit. I never really cared for Grey's Anatomy especially since it's like over 15 forsaken seasons (cancel the goddamn show.) Medical Dramas are something I don't seek out, It's okay and that's all. I don't really have an opinion so to quote the princess of vocals, thank u next. 

9# Grotesquerie

I do like this but it's really dumb. Lois is kinda stupid honestly like you`re a decorated detective why follow a journalist nun like?! This show thinks it's way more clever than it actually is. Also Why is the priest so sexualised? I get that nicholas alexander chavez has a nice ass but do I need to see this when at the same time when I`m seeing homeless people being sawed together in a disco ass room. It just feels like if Murphy had the creative control over Riverdale. Episode 7 is just sooooo stupid and overall it's cute but I'm looking for something gorgeous.

(like what is point of this aswell-)

8-7# 911: The Sequel & 911 

Okay dont get it twisted, Angela Basset did in-fact do the motherfuckin thing BUT yeah I dont care about Crime Dramas either. The only time I ever enjoyed a crime drama was when I watched the first episode of Luther in my Media Studies Class. It wasn't that great since people made fun of the redhead hoe (she was lowkey iconic though.)

6# glee

Oh glee, my dear old hyperfixation. I have a confession, I used to be a gleek like a serious one like I knew about pavarotti protocol (iykyk.) I need to face reality this show isnt a show, it's a rollercoaster of tumblr that I wasnt even old enough to use for fuck sake my ass was watching mattyb raps while begging my mum (yes im british,) to get me moshi monsters. This show is a show. A teacher called Sue marries herself, Kurt and The Other One get locked in a saw ass room, Everyone became muppets deadass,  There's an original song called “Trouty Mouth,” They covered what does the fox say, They have a fucking school shooting episode and in the next episode, a guy called Sam Evans gets multiple personality disorder for a single episode. It has a dumpster fire with glitter on. I still can't believe they got away with so much shit. I would say that it is a guilty pleasure of mine, that I love its chaos but there is darkness. So evil and repulsive, it ruins any replay ability.  

That darkness is called Blaine Motherfucking Anderson. 

This is my actual opp, I hate this motherfucker, like LOATHE him with a capital fucking L.

here are a few of his crimes against humanity:  

1- Sexually Assaulted Kurt and made Kurt apologise for being sexually assaulted

2- Cheating On Kurt with Sebastian (yes he cheated idgaf argue with the air cuz im not the one)

3- Cheating On Kurt and then gaslighting Kurt saying it was Kurt's fault because he moved to nyc and made blaine feel lonely; EVEN THOUGH HE SAID THAT KURT SHOULD MOVE TO NEW YORK CITY TO LIVE HIS DREAMS?!?

4- Literally dragged the shows quality done with his greasy ass hair

5- Got mad at Kurt for not being depressed and needy in s5

6- Saying Kurt should go more into his sexuality even though he was an innocent kid

7- TOOK SUNSHINES SPOT AS THE NEW MAIN CHARACTER DESPITE IT WOULD OF BEEN BETTER IF SUNSHINE DID (oh ryan I hope you enjoyed darren letting you sit on his face, i hope you enjoyed it really fucking good)

8- Dating Kurt's bully who also sexually assaulted him (btw Its so fucked up how Kurt has been sexually assaulted 3 times and the show ignores it for shitty pop songs)

9- Getting mad at both Rachel & Kurt for “stealing” warblers then saying it Kurt`s fault cuz he is dating his bully like yes I would do too.

10- Pressured Kurt into fucking marriage

11- Making fun of Sam`s sex work even though my homeboy was broke. That's weird cuz Kurt helped Sam throughout his shit same with Quinn almost like Blaines pussy ass knew that Kurt and Sam were that fucking couple. Sam baby homewreck that couple and take Kurt for yourself, I don't like homewrecking but come on baby. 

12- Ruined Tina, My Emo Goth Vampire would NEVER even try and date a mid ass white gay man; Tina baby get back with Mike for the love of the elder gods. 

I really wanted to poke fun at this stupid and campy ass show but I can't bring myself to even cackle because in the show lies a devil. The devil is looking at me with his toddler ass outfit and I'm looking right back at him, I'm looking back into the eyes of evil with nothing but rage. 

5# Fued

I love this ^^

Jessica Lange stuns in Fued, per usual and gives nothing but her all. As a gay man who enjoys English literature, I am prone to call a woman past the age of 30 who I am fond of as a “Mother.” Yeah Jessica Lange once again steals the spotlight because she is Jessica Lange but I hope yall know there are plenty of Mothers in this. Anyways Yeah, don't forget to smile :)

4# Scream Queens

Scream Queens is actually one of my fave horror-comedy shows out there. It has an all star a-cast from Emma Roberts, Billie Lourd, Illiterate Theatre Kid, Silver Lesbian Hair, Senorita Awesome, My Wife Keke Palmer, Glen Powell, Nicey Nash (who legit carries this show,) Brianne Howey, Shawn Mendes`s Top Nick Jonas & Did It Give Arionka or Noooo?

Scream Queens follows a sorority where Emma Roberts plays herself as the red devil starts taking bodies off, she and the real highlight Zayday Williams work together in like episode five (spoilers whoops) to try and stop whoever is committing these kills. Ryan really comes through with the dialogue, this is Shaun Of The Dead for The Girls and The Gays.

3# American Horror Story

Oh American Horror Story, Look out how far you`ve lost. American Horror Story is an anthology show of each season being set somewhere. My personal favourites are Asylum, Coven, Murder House, Hotel, Red Tide & Roanoke. Some valid critiques are that Ryan cannot change from his ghost plots, Hotel does it well & 1984 is…1984. Ryan has a habit of adding true crime typa shit into this like why the fuck is Richard Ramrimez a main character of AHS. He also really sexualizes the conventionally attractive male crackers (im white so don`t cry reverse racism) in the later seasons. It used to be my favourite show and the strengths really conquer the evil *cough delicate.* Overall, watch it if you're into horror movies that are popular on tumblr or teen shows.

2# Ratched

Such an underrated gem, Ratched is based on the film “One Flew Over The Cuckoo`s Nest,” what I just found was based on a real experience so Ryan did it again. No but generally this show is pretty much flawless except one regard one of the patients “Charlotte Wells” was treated as this dangerous woman cause of her mutiple personality disorder and even if they pretty much nailed every disorder they had, I feel like this was definitely not the one to fuck up. It has amazing performances especially by Miss Paulson (she's weird but I gotta give her flowers.) I enjoyed the plot, I enjoyed the visuals and the characters. Overall, It's kinda flawed but really good.

1# Pose

Pose is a fucking masterpiece. From the visuals, to the performances, to the colour grading, to the script (especially including the reads,) to the costume design. The show is perfect. It's not only a love letter to ballroom culture but also shows amazing representation towards Black Trans Women who created the lgbtq+ (again I said what the fuck I said). The emotions in this show float gracefully like a lilypad upon a soft river. Billie Porter brings his a–game, Angelia Ross changes lives but Domonique Jackson as Elektra is so fucking good; Dom legit has the best performance in Murphys filmography. This is just chefs kiss.