yurr

Women will self sabotage, mess up things in their lives and make the wrong decision simply by ignorance or they purposefully go out of their way to ruin it for themselves, because they don’t believe that they are worthy enough of what they're trying to wreck. In most cases, this would be a relationship, or a job opportunity and such. Women will commodify her mental illness to appear as desirable as possible to the public, with mascara streaming down her cheeks and smoke in her hair. Men love a sick woman, a crazy woman who they can go on and on about how wild she is and how much they fight and at the end of the day he’s still begging for her back. This is so common, women letting themselves just drown in depression. The urge to wallow in self pity is all consuming. The want to lock your door and lay in the dark in bed and just stare into the ceiling as you let your mind wander. I’ve found myself avoiding alone because I want to prevent this wave of melancholic nostalgia. Distractions work until it catches up to you. Luckily, I’ve received help for my miseries. I’m learning coping mechanisms, how to regulate my thoughts and calm myself down. This is something you must teach yourself, being able to admit your sickness is the first step in getting better. Allowing yourself to keep bleeding is no way to heal.