250116 23:41

washin my hair doin the laundry late night tv i want you only............ ✊✊✊✊✊✊ proud lana del rey lover im cuttin it up for her for real on god no cap fax no printer.

been just starin off into nowhere because i dont wanna get any more hallucinations im just kinda getting sick of them. i think a lot about my attraction towards cis men because is it just because they have everything that i dont. do i even really like them because i am Not Going To Lie each and every single one of them disappoint me without fail and its always over something unforgivable too. there is one (1) exception and thats j but thats also because he is a man hater like i am. he's also a gay little twink. like not to overshare on my super ultra mega personal freaky blog but when i say every single one i mean it. it starts young ok... i was born into a family of shitty cheaters and abusers 

i dont even know man everything is just slipping away from me. im sorry yall have to witness all this but who even cares.

im obsessed with how i am perceived though. im a sad little boy so i think a lot about dying and leaving behind all of... this. for my family and friends and acquaintances. i would love if some youtuber made a half an hour long video analysing every trace ive left on the internet. scare theatre and sog and kwite making content out of my sad little diary entries on spacehey and tumblr and discord and i genuinely want to see how much can they dig up on me. people are always saying that "oh dont search yourself up on the internet you'd be disturbed with how much pops up" well not for ME. i never ever use anything that could actually be associated to me in real life. like ive gone by ten million different names in the past you cant find me unless im handing it to you on a silver platter (you probably could... you should try. for fun of course haha. please analyse me that would scratch an itch so deep in my brain.)

brain empty tonight so its eepy time. in conclusion: havent been feeling well but the world keeps on spinning so who gives a fuck. have a great night every1