random notes app poems LOL

these range from 2019-2023 so not too much ok....

(2022)

stop telling me my eyes are meadows waiting to be explored. that my eye bags are lavender fields waiting to be discovered. or my hair is the waves of the ocean flowing down. my iv bruises aren’t love bites. im sick. stop finding beauty in my despair and romanticizing my disorders. im not a beauty painting, im a blurry picture 

(2021)

is it normal? to feel so back and forth? to embrace the cold with hollow reemergence and open arms. the warmth of the past is gone and all i can do is be an unwilling ghost, trapped in the memories of happier days as i lay cold and forgotten. a toxic normality floods my system

(2021)

even with maggots crawling out of my eye sockets and nothing but bones seeing daylight, just knowing you had loved me would keep me beautiful for one thousand lifetimes

(2019)

people all have always had different methods of breaking a tough exterior 

knives, spoons, brute force 

but once the sweet crunch pops 

out bursts an avalanche of red 

and as you pick each seed and consume it until the white flesh is empty and i can’t help but feel the same way 

completely consuming

red flows of blood and memories as we crack open the flesh 

picking and pulling, taking what we want 

but i want to consume you. 

take you under my force and crack you.

tear apart your sickly bitter flesh and devour the red

let you mix inside and become wholely me