everything and nothing

around you I am made of both everything and nothing,

atoms screaming to be given a purpose,

so with every line I draw, every word I type, every seam of paper I fold

I pull my fragmented soul towards you, into your hands, through my fingertips

and hope that the traces it leaves are enough.

I was made. I was taught. I was born.

but when I look at you all thoughts leave my star dust brain

your gravitational pull making me shed every experience I've ever had, every person I've ever been.

I talk to you and I hear the voice of who I could have been, who I will be, who I've become.

Looking to you I am remade, I am reminded, I am killed and brought back alive.

If I had half a brain I would feel some manner of shame,

my hands blistering from the burning hot fire you set under my skin

as I reach down into myself looking for something to write,

to be folded into undying flowers built of paper and bleeding hearts

but the brightness of your soul alleviates the sweltering,

siphoning the light into itself

and as I look to your windowsill I see your plants turn towards you

a supernova of everything you've ever been.

screaming what i cant say to you into void

my attempts at honesty are skewed by irony and sarcasm.

my words are twisted by self doubt, both from myself and you

and all hope i had at avoiding initiating anything myself falls short.

and even now that you have rejected me, i would still gift you the crystals that have fallen from my eyes and dressed my cheeks

perhaps then, as their facets act as mirrors to your soul, you will finally see yourself as I do.