Shitting in a toilet???

It’s bizarre that the human race has come to terms with pinching a loaf in a porcelain throne…why have scientists not been striving to create a less primitive version of the shitter? Think about it: you just ate 4 tacos from the local gas station and you begin to feel your guts preparing to launch the tsar bombar of shits. It’s literally defcon 1 in this hoe and your speeding home in your hand me down 2006 Honda civic as fast as lightning. When you turn a corner you accidentally run over a happy family of 4 and as the car bounces over their bodies you feel this atomic weapon slip in between your cheeks, worsening you situation. As your booty glands try as hard as possible to prevent nuclear fallout, you make it home and rush to the toilet to send shockwaves around the earth 2 times with your spooky dookie. “I am become death” you say as you let it rip. You scream in agony and in relief as you feel 10Kilos leave your body, the forbidden chocolate is all over the walls of the toilet bowl, you are literally trying not to launch off the seat and take off. Eventually the storm settles, you take a second to catch your breath, relax, and unwind. You begin to start wiping but quickly realise the dooky is not going away? It’s like there’s a brown crayon down there, you end up going through 7 rolls of toilet paper and when it’s time to flush, your toilet obviously gets clogged. so you have to pull the sword from the stone(plunger) and plunge that shit like your stabbing your alcoholic husband that just cheated on you with a lot lizard. Finally you get the micro-compacted shitty toilet paper out of the bowl, and start flushing separately. And once it’s all done, your scat is shoved down a long tube and funnelled into an underground pipe full of other peoples sharts, intertwining, sharing stories, and given a one way ticket to the big blue sea to pollute the earth. And after all that trouble, you wonder why things are the way they are. Why do we use outdated technology in a society of innovation? Why can’t we have robot toilets that evaporate our loafs with laser technology? These are questions that need to be asked in order for change to occur. When medieval peasant flung their shit from their windows, do you think they wondered if change would ever come? Do you think they wondered if it was possible to improve the system they were used to at that time? Innovation and advancements are always possible, we just don’t know what the future will bless us with.