Ive lost the lawsuit

As many of you know, I've had a lawsuit on everyone of my spacehey.com friends.

I have lost.

For starters, I had to steal the trial money so I can sue everybody, but apparently it's illegal to do that (since when lol). Also I did rob a Tesco, a Walmart, and a Whole Foods on my way to the trial and I am being charged for that too... as well as for aggravated assault, gun violence on a fire hydrant, battery, AAA battery smuggling, covering myself in oil and waiting till it rains so I can evade police officers, salt, pepper, paprika, cook the pan on low heat- wait what was I talking about again?

Anywho, all my friends have left me and I am now alone. Everytime I speak I get the feedback through my echo as I sit in my empty padded cell. I am reminded of all the times I've spent with my best pals. The time I hung out with them... the time I've hung out with them the day after that. It sucks in here. It's too soft and they only give me beef jerky, and it's those bags that has like BARELY ANY BEEF in it...

I'm so lonely.

No one has sent me any mail. No one has tried to pay my bail. I have no one to answer my wails. I am nothing here. I just wish I wouldn't have made everyone on planet earth an enemy to me... INCLUDING ME. If anyone would like to visit my cell and poke my Stupid face please ring the number below.

555-9264

Sorry everybody I've sued and angered.  I wanna make amends.

Okie dokie, I need to get back to rotting in my cell! Buh bye!!! X3