﹒˒（01.16.25）˓

elusive feelings; emotions we can't describe

desiderium

loving things one has lost is instinctual, animalistic even. it is primal, beyond reason or logic, like a wolf howling at the moon, knowing it will never answer. desiderium. a longing for something that has once anchored itself in the heart, yet drifts beyond one's reach so much that it aches. a silent tormentor. yet, it is our fiercest instincts that lead us to the edge of our own demise. it is in our nature to yearn for despair. desiderium is a hunger for what is now gone, or something that was never truly within one's grasp.

overwhelmed awe

stirred by magnificence or beauty, at these moments, one is overwhelmed with awe. one may feel suspended between the finite and the eternal. overwhelmed awe is not merely seen or heard; it is felt. a trembling recognition that, for all our words and wisdom, some truths can only be known in silence. although there is a very thin line between jealousy and overwhelmed awe, they are tremendously different. overwhelmed awe is rooted from admiration and humility, which can be terrifying and leaves one vulnerable.

internalized shame

a persistent credence that one is inherently flawed. when one has spent too much time believing that they are rotten and unworthy of love that it feels overwhelming to be told otherwise. conditioning themself into believing that their existence is a mistake or tainted. trapped in a cycle of diffidence.

﹒˒（01.16.25）˓