“I never truly wanted to be the one the prophecy called for ♡. (Inspired by a tiktok)

 I read the books, I watched the movies, I dreamed of saving the world. I was a child, and I wanted nothing more than all the world’s admiration, all their attention. Everything. All of it. And now, all grown up, I realise I could never be the hero, even if I wanted to. I tricked myself into believing my “purpose” was to be more than I could. To prove the world wrong. 

I mean sure? All along I wanted a peaceful life right? I would begin to believe that nothing good ever comes without a struggle. That there was something I needed to do to be deserving of peace. 

I wanted people to see me. But the idea of being truly seen had now become scary. Never being able to hide from the world’s prying eyes. My every move perceived and I could not make it stop. If they had heard every word I spoke, I believe I’d stop talking. 

The issue is, is that no matter how long or far you hide away there is always one thing that will find you. Responsibility. Responsibility, it feels the same as before, except this time not imaginary. So do not show me the whole world and expect me not to care “too much”. 

Well, it’s safe to say that whoever chose me to play this fundamentally flawed story wanted me to be brave. Hero’s are supposed to be brave. And I am not brave enough. But that’s okay. Society has expectations I am not able to meet. And I won’t apologise for that. 

Because the bravest thing I’ve ever done is live. And I know how to survive. Yet how can I be expected to save the world at war with my mind? How could I use it to my advantage if I never even gave it the appreciation for carrying me through life? And how could someone possibly believe I was fit for the task? How could they think I was good enough. 

I’m not sure if I’m determined enough to give everything up for this cause. There would most likely be a point where I question whether the fight was worth it. A doubt infested mind would eventually kill me before my enemy. I don’t want to loose myself. Not again. 

A world depending on me would be a desperate one. I never truly wanted to be the one the prophecy called for.