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Today I attempted to do some productive things, only to realize I have some major issues to work on— impatience and procrastination. I woke up wanting to workout (spoiler alert: i didn’t lmao), then i tried writing (only got to a page), i tried reading too but that didn’t last long, tried to finish sewing a top only to realize that something was wrong with the threads and i’m too frustrated to continue; I found myself equal parts frustrated at the world (at my sewing machine, really) and mostly at myself. I mean, what a loser!
But, I do have some solace in me that I didn’t give up trying to do something productive. I baked a quiche and wrote letters to my friends! Huzzah!
I’m aware that we live in this very fast paced society— not unaffected still by the Industrial Revolution and capitalist culture in general, that we have some sort of “quota” of productive things we have to achieve at the end of the day or else we’d feel like we’re failures. I’m also aware that I’m very much affected by that culture. There’s some kind of invisible peer pressure that’s making me conform to it— even if I try hard not to. Productivity is such a slippery slope!
I suppose one of my attempts at making my self less overwhelmed by all these “productivity” nonsense is slowing myself down. “Slow living” and things like that. Like “the cottage fairy” on youtube. Well, maybe not that much. But all that i can manage. I can take time and journal my thoughts, or blog (as i’m doing right now) and also slow down by doing snail mail. That’s why I write these letters to my friends, so I don’t overthink about someone’s “typing…” or when they read or were last seen online; so i can take time and think about what i write and think, and reminisce about them, decorate it for them, and still love the process.
Whoever’s reading this, (thank you if you do) do you also have a slowing down ritual? If so, what is it?
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Xx_sk¡3spunK_xX
Hi! I absolutely love your perspective. I'm such a big fan of the whole idea of living slowly. I genuinely believe humans are here to enjoy life, socialize, and be as happy as possible, with their time fully their own, but capitalism and work just completely ruined it.
I’ve dealt with a lot of anxiety, and it’s only gotten worse over the last few years. But honestly, I think I’m living my best years right now. I’ve got stability, love, friends, and so many good thoughts for the future. I knew I had to do something to stop the bad anxiety, and I can honestly say I’m much better now. Even though uni doesn’t always give me the time I need for myself, I’ve learned to pause, reflect, and prioritize myself. I think I’ve improved so much, not just for me, but for the people I care about too.
That said, I’m still a work in progress. Like, I SWEAR I’m running around every morning and somehow still end up late. My little take on living a more chill life is pretending the internet is still like it was in the 2000s. I’m obsessed with old web aesthetics and blogs. I still use my phone for instagram, twitter, and messaging friends, but I’ve been cutting down lately. I prefer getting calls over texts now, it feels more real. Writing letters sounds so cool, but I don’t have the patience for that, so calls it is. Still, I think that kind of initiative is awesome!