blogging ab todays stuff coz my journal isnt here rn

Jan 14 2025 [20:38 PM]

hiiii this is going to b a bit more different from the stuff that i usually blog about. its going to b more like a journal entry n u guys will b able to see what i usually do irl. dont expect anything much coz im a lozer w like two friends who dont go to the same school as me sighhh. but we stay silly

soo the day started out as usual. every tuesday i have a private chemistry lesson coz im almost fucking failing that subject at school lol 😭 (its so fucking hard and uninteresting bro i cant and also when we started learning it at school a few years ago in sixth grade our teacher was shit and she wouldnt even come to class most of the time so thats also part of the reason why im struggling so badly rn) 

after that i packed my backpack w my books for school and ate breakfast/lunch coz i dont eat in the morning i only drink choccy milk 😋😋😋. we had an important test in math today that was gonna determine a big part of our grade for the end of the semester, so i prepared a list w mathematical formulas so that i could look at them during the test (the teacher said we could do that most of the time i dont bother to cheat on tests lol). after that i wrote my chemistry homework, aka my private chem teacher wrote the hw and i just copied it and sent it to the teacher 😭. this is kinda embarrassing to say out loud BUT HEY I STILL TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS ABOUT WHEN I COPY IT SO SHHH. also our chem teacher at school gives us so much fucking hw its like she thinks that chemistry is the only subject that we study at school vro...

after that i just waited for my "get ready for school" alarm to ring while fixing up my phonecase.i cant rlly take a pic of how it looks bcos if i take the phonecase off all the lil papers and drawings i put inside will fall out but it looks better than it did before.

my fav part of the day is getting dressed and putting on makeup yayayay. i usually start getting ready half an hour before i have to leave for the bus but recently i have been slacking and running late for school a bit lol. for my makeup i usually do the "reverse contouring transmasc makeup" thingy plus a pale lip and black eyeliner on my waterline bcos i think it looks cool. for my hair i just put seasalt spray in it and hope for the best 😭😭😭. i also carry some crystals w me when i go out bcos i just started a witchcraft practice. tigers eye and quartz work rlly well to keep me calm but also confident. i also always have some type of permanent marker on me if i want to draw smth on the wall of the bathroom stalls. 

most of the stuff that i draw is my personal symbol, messages for boycotting and support for palestine and upside down pentagrams lol. i love a lil bit of good hearted vandalism. also it gets boring if u dont have any friends and doing smth against the rules helps break stuff up a bit. theres this insta acc that posts any graffiti thats done in support of palestine and i might send them my stuff so i can get them out there aswell. its anonymous so its fine i just gotta take pics of all of them.

ALSO HERES TODAYS FITCHECK plus i always post a link to the gofundme of this palestinian family. the mother contacted me a while ago thru intsa her name is Faten and shes always been so nice to me thanking me for sharing her link every time even though i feel like i barely do anything.

OK SO NOW ITS FINALLY TIME TO LEAVE FOR SCHOOL HAHAAA I WANNA Die i dont like going lol. i catch the bus and i ride for ab 15-20 mins. during that time i listen to music. today i listened to behemoth for the first time. theyve been on my radar for quite the time and theyre pretty cool my fav song atm it o father o satan o sun. i like how theyre not just heavy and HELLA BLASPHEMOUS but also kinda melodic i always like hearing melodic stuff in metal.

I GOT TO SCHOOL ON TIME TODAY TOO YIPPEE. we had german class first and the two consecutive PE classes. BRO I HATE PE SM. i mostly do nothing cos i have noone to play with and i dont like playing w the other ppl from my class cos i lowkey hate them all lol. just imagine that 26 of the most insufferable, ignorant, loud, queerphobic, misogynistic pieces of shit were all gathered in one place. yeah thats what its like. playing volleyball w them is also a pain in the ass. i usually try to spend as much time off the court and in the bathroom without the teacher thinking that im sick or smth. tbh i kinda like the pe teacher bcos she lest me play alone and chats w me sometimes but shes just like any teacher at the end of the day. cant keep the discipline n shit.

the only good side of having two pe classes one after the other right before the lunch break is that the teacher lets us go 20 mins earlier YAYYY. so now instead of a 20 min lunch break we have about an hour. we had a substitute today and she let us go even earlier so i had an hour to go eat and draw some in a nearby garden. heres a drawing :3

after that we had that one test in math. it was significantly more easy than i thought it woudl b lol and i think i did pretty good. i hope it doesnt turn out to b like one of those memes that go like "when i thought i ate the test but it turns out the test ate me" 😭. i brought a book ab reading tarot cards w me and when i finished the test i read some of it. i like bringing books ot school coz it keeps me away from my phone when i have nothing else to do during the brakes and reading keeps me from getting overstimulated i think. i have my headphones in all the times aswell bcos i hate hearing how my classmates talk 😭. i also listened to some candlemass and i liked them a lot my fav song rn is probably solitude or when death sighs

after that we had history class and during that i finished copying the chem hw and handed it in.

then at the end of the school day (which is at liek 17:40  mind u) we had two chemistry classes. the teacher is a total piece of shit who cant stop herself from screaming ab every single thing that happens. istg this one guy was drinking water and she was like " STOP DRINKING UR ALWAYS DRINKING WATER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" and shit like that. in the first period she was asking this one girl questions bcos the wanted a higher grade for the end of the semester but she was being so incredibly nitpicky LIKE GOD SHIT UP. i dread the day that im going to have to do that but my grades arent high at all so im gonna have to wml guys 😭. in the second period we learned smth ab chemical solutions or smth idk

AND THEN WE GOT TO GO HOMEEEE i took the bus and i had to make a quick stop to order some sushi for my sister cuz she rlly likes sushi rn. after that i went home i ate dinner and i wrote this blog entry

so this is how i got to this current point in time :3. basically all i do at school all day is put up w ppl i dont like (which im getting better at and im kinda proud of that) and romanticize my solitude. anyway how was ur day :p