the comparison

This is my first ever public blog and I want to share with you the thoughts I’ve only recently managed how to state the way it was in my head.

That’s the topic which really bothered me the last half of the year. These devouring thoughts are living in my head rent-free every single day. 

So I hope you’re ready to read a bit vulnerable part of me. My whole blog is vulnerable but not in a pathetic way as someone could think but in a sincere and free-spoken one.

I listened to people for whom the peak of their perception ends with the external image. 

I thought something was wrong with me, focusing on those who believe that there is emptiness inside them. On those who did not want to reveal the mystery of their personality to themselves. 

I looked at those who did not care about what was happening to them. 

I looked at someone who did not know what a soul and revelation with oneself were and thought that I was doing wrong. 

I looked at a person with a completely different story and thought that I was not like that, not allowing the thought that we cannot be compared. 

what was a priority for them was mediocrity for me. 

what I lived for was meaningless for them. 

the one who, since childhood, lived with the feelings and sensations of the energies of every place they visited, the one who thought that they did not belong to the real world, awkwardly living the life that they had to face anyway, was guided by the person who, since childhood, looked only at the physical manifestation, towering over people with a different background.

one person was a god on earth, an aphrodite stealing the spirit of every person, swallowing other people's thoughts and leading astray, but at the same time guiding, teaching and inspiring.

the other was space and time, feelings and thoughts, tears and laughter, light and darkness, radiance and silence. this person was energy, invisible fabric, a flowing stream, a living wound, a deep cut, a shell storing an infinite number of particles.

how can you compare two people who play completely different roles on earth.

how can you determine who is less filled and who is abundant with true essence. 

after all, every person on earth is an actor. and everyone plays their role perfectly, without even knowing it. no one will repeat someone else's play. 

you will try, diluting the picture of your hero, revealing in them traits that they did not know about. doing this at the expense of other characters, who, like you, may be confused, or may not doubt their own performance. 

thus we see the ideal picture, the ideal movie, theatrical play. for us this is the only role and our debut, and for life it is only one part of a million previous and infinity of future ones.