he thinks of his bride-to-be, gathered round a widesreen TV

14/01/25

i will be your Ferdinand and you my wayward girl

i think maybe i cry too much over it but it means i am alive and i have the capacity to love. and maybe i feel broken but i'm not. at least not yet. and i would wait in the cold for much longer than you'd let me 

we've got a lot. which means a lot to lose and that's why we get scared. but it will be ok. there's a lot of colour shades a green and yellow and sometimes, in the right light, even red. and it feels like my heart has changed to something more real and romanticised rather than a bloody, beaten, beating, thing soaking my sleeves. but it's still exposed 

elope with me in private 

i wanna knit you a sweater, i wanna write you a love letter

romanticism in the 21st century. lovers of the 20th are so far away now. in some sickening way, maybe people are supposed to go when they go. i want to love in a small way but every word i've ever heard has been about and undying love that you will only find a handful of times in your short life. can you trust that you will find it? will you push yourself to find it, no matter how long it takes? will you look for the person you will make a cup of tea for? or paint a bedroom with? will you promise to never stop looking until you find them, even if that love isn't forever? because you should. 

could you make it through the weekend without it?

maybe i shouldn't put my heart on the line as often as i do but i don't know any other way. and it's probably good for you. yeah, you get hurt, but you learn. it is an act of humanity and defiance against all those that are disgusted by it. and there's worse things. i will regret this when my heart begins to crack but at the moment  it is safe and things are changing. i've been hurt and i have grown - like pruning flowers. you're like that. you could be hurt right now but that's what helps you grow. and it's never fair what you have to go through to get there but you just have to believe it's worth it 

yours, miss black eyeliner