14/01/2025
i don’t hate going to school as much as i used to. having friends makes such a difference, and being able to keep myself occupied during lessons helps the days go by a little easier. it’s not like i love school, but it’s manageable.
still, there’s this group of boys who make it harder than it needs to be. they don’t outright bully me, but they talk about me in ways they know i can hear, saying things that stick with me long after. i’ve been trying so hard to fit in, to seem “normal,” and to not stand out in a bad way, but it doesn’t seem to matter. they still find a reason to pick on me, and it’s exhausting. it makes me feel like no matter how much effort i put in, i’ll never truly belong.
and then there’s the schoolwork. i have so many assignments, projects, and tests to prepare for that it feels like it’s never-ending. the pressure to keep up with everything is overwhelming, but even with that stress, i can’t bring myself to start until the very last minute. i know procrastinating makes it worse, but it’s like the weight of everything paralyzes me. i want to be on top of things, but instead, i’m constantly battling this cycle of stress and avoidance.
it’s all just so draining—trying to handle school, fit in, and keep up with all the work while dealing with the little things that keep piling up. some days, it feels like too much.
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