love

i feel very lonely and unlovable. why? i have no idea. yes i do have one or 2 people who might love me but one is family. i want love, true love. someone who truely cares for me, someonw who understands me but the person who i want may be out of reach. maybe if i cant get love, romantically, i can try friend/soulmate love. i cant. no one interacts with me anymore. i just roam around the school hallways alone. i never speak in class. i sit alone in a corner. does no one truly love me? not even as a friend? maybe im just young and over think. but i dont wanna be almost 40 in 20yrs and still have no one. maybe its the way i look. but i try really hard for my looks in case its this fact. or perhaps its my personality? but then again how would anyon know who i really am if no one wants to speak to me or speak without judgment?  when i find this person will they understand my love for them or get tired of me. i try my hardest even if its to eat a grape. the world works strangely and it hurts. love hurts. one day i want to love someone as a friend, as lover, as a person.