I HATE SCHOOL + venting

I dont wanna go back to school tomorrow :( i literally have no friends at school because the ones i had all left me in may 2024.. may 11th because i told someone her bf was a creepazoid (turns out i was right!!) and she made it her like life goal to make my life a living hell, i know i havent been a good person literally ever but.. ive changed (haha i hated myself and was so full of guilt i tried to perish like maybe 8-9 times in 3 months after 2 different incidents happened) and i know changing is good but even though ive apologized IMMENSELY to the people ive hurt i cant seem to get rid of the guilt.. that guilt keeps me awake at night and i dont have any closure even when its been almost a year since the 2 incidents happened.. i think about what ive done everynight and i really hate myself for what ive done even when i was being manipulated and told to do those things