Shit's rough

HIII X3

Ik I haven't uploaded shi in the past few days or so buttttt things hv been rough for me on a mental level :P like, my bf sayin we needa talk nd school js peggin me LOL. I literally have no motivation to do anything.. all I do is play stardew valley, bed rot and doom scroll on tiktok ..

Bet it's a relatable feeling? Yhhh.. it's so weird, I know I should be studying but Ion have the will to and will go on with my thing even tho I'll be feeling anxious abt my procrastination (╥﹏╥)

Yesterday I rly wanted to vent on here but I decided not to embarass myself .. ANYWAYS yd I FINALLY had the balls to go to school w my emo fringeee!! >⩊< No one rly commented abt it and I'm glad cuz I was so anxiousss :c

I also went to the sushi with a person that I looked up to for years :) and I'm glad we could potentially become actual friends friends (..◜ᴗ◝..) I rly wanna dm em and ask how it went for em and if they wanna hang out again but I feel like I'd be awkward .. also I feel like I'm on a lower level compared to them due to my looks .. they r so much prettier than me and even more social and talkable to .. I js feel like maybe they would start thinkin of me as some sucker but I rly js wanna be friends :c but at the same time I feel so ashamed when I'm next to them cuz it's js so noticeable how ugly I am .. what if I ate too much? too fast? didn't talk enough? talked too much? did I stuff my face with food? what do they think abt me? do they think I'm repetitive and hella weird now? do they think I'm disgusting? ugly? annoying? maybe even a fatty? I enjoyed our time together sm, anxiety aside .. (,,>﹏<,,) I hope we get to hangout together soon again, they're like an idol to me .. someone I look up to ..

I also hung out w another friend, went to the center and went shoplifting at some store XD oopsie

And btw I got the worst cough everrr I keep spittin snot ewwwww plus it is so hard to blow my nose w a nostril nd a septummm (¬_¬")