The Nuances of Trust (gay Chinese mythology)

soooooo this is a story based on Chinese mythology and Taoism! it is a Danmei, a genre that is "Boys' Love" (BL) stories and is primarily focused on male-male romance in China, kind of a Xianxia, a genre that's Chinese fantasy and is heavily inspired by Chinese mythology, philosophies of Taoism, Chan Buddhism, Chinese martial arts, traditional Chinese medicine, Chinese folk religion blah blah blah, stuff of that nature. It is also kind of a Wuxia, but I won't talk much on that.. 

The characters names are Qinglong Bai (the name Qinglong, meaning green/blue dragon, coming from the Azure Dragon. but in my story Qinglong, the way that Qinglong Bais grandpa is referred to, is not the Azure Dragon but in my story he is heavily influenced by the dragon and the importance of dragons in Chinese culture. and Bai meaning white, bc Qinglong Bais palette is mostly white, which can represent morning, death, or could represent purity) and Wang Xishui (Wang, being a common last name in China meaning king I believe. and Xishui, being two characters, "Xi" can sometimes be used as a character representing a small stream or a flowing water body, signifying movement and fluidity, which is important to his religious practices, Shui- the word for water).

Qinglong Bais grandfather was a dragon god that fell in love with a woman and had a daughter named Dongyang (Dong, meaning different things, but in this context meaning Eastern, and Yang meaning sun, or sometimes “ocean” but in this context means sun). This is the mother of Qinglong Bai !! Qinglong Bai grew up in a more populated area and was liked by many individuals, mostly because of him being proficient in medicine and being able to help sick ppl, I'm still working on this part, probably thinking that his mother had knowledge of  traditional Chinese medicine and taught him. and because of him being so helpful, kind, and a good cultivator, he ascended and became a god yayyy!! he was a god for a few hundred years (Probably 300-500), made many friends (one really important one being Nushen Xingyun, the god of luck), and was working up the ranks, but then something big happened… he got into an argument with another, more powerful and worshiped, god bc one Qinglong Bais followers had asked for help with something that he had thought was selfish (he also knew the man bc he would often go down to the mortal realm and do tasks and work in shrines, the man was also abusive to his wife) and so he ignored his prayer but then the man went to the other god and prayed to him, that interfered with Qinglong Bais area of spiritual worship, he got angry and complained to everyone and suggested that they put a stop to doing things that could actually hurt other people but no one would listen to him and he was sent back to the mortal realm (bc there was a giant argument with Qinglong Bai and some important heavenly gods), turned back into a poor child and his mother is now dead bc it was hundreds and hundreds of years later. he lives a new life and hides his "high rank" bc he wants to be treated with respect bc he is a good person and not bc he is the descendant of a dragon and was a god. He meets a man during his travels and falls in love with him (I am still thinking on if I should have this in his first or second life), but he is a general and doesn't return Qinglong Bais love and eventually ends up dying in front of Qinglong Bai during a war. And now in this life he is working on a shrine and to get more followers to reascend and become a god again. while looking for ppl, he meets Wang Xishui!!! :O

Wang Xishui is half Bangladeshi and half Chinese (but technically not bc this is a fictional world and it is just based on Chinese culture and the land) from his father walking from Bangladesh to China and meeting Xishuis' mother, they fell in love and live in a small village that worships water related gods (primarily focusing on Xuanwu the Black warrior of the north, also called the Black Turtle-Snake) and their villages culture was also inspired by Taoism (a Chinese philosophy and religion that focuses on living in harmony with the Tao, or the natural flow of the universe. The Tao is a principle that is the source of all things, and is sometimes translated as "the Way".) Water is a very important thing in Taoism and resembles harmony and balance. The ppl who live in the village follow this belief that water is very powerful and they have a winter festival (still working on this part too, but that also connects back to the Turtle-Snake bc they are also represented by winter and the fight within and to be able to survive)

Qinglong Bai and Wang Xishui hang out a lot, Xishui showing Qinglong Bai around his village and going with him on different kinds of missions and cleaning and cooking at Qinglong Bais shrine. one day Wang Xishui is talking about his beliefs and ends up talking about the winter festival and invites Qinglong Bai to the festival and while Xishui is getting dressed at his home (I’m thinking about making Xishui good at tailoring and embroidering clothes) Bai realizes that he is in love with Wang Xishui and has this huge breakdown while Xishui is getting ready, bc he has still not dealt with the trauma of the general he fell in love with long ago. He ends up crazily telling Wang Xishui about everything. that he was a god, is a descendant of a dragon, that he is disappointed in himself and yeahh… Wang Xishui is hurt that Qinglong Bai wasn't honest with him from the beginning and starts to freak out a little and starts to distance himself away from Qinglong Bai (after he comforts him from his break down obviously) to be able to think everything over, but they get back together and they confess that they like each other and the end whateva whatevaa !! :3

(if I get any information on Chinese mythology or culture wrong, pls tell me!!!)

HERE IS THE ACTUAL STORY--

(this is ALL just the prologue)

               He fell in love. How could he choose to fall in love?

The Qinglong was not supposed to fall into deep desire, especially in this circumstance. She was but a human, no importance to her. A conventional and uninteresting mortal being with nothing to offer, but he fell as if he had been pushed off a cliff or grabbed by the neck and forced under the icy cold water to drown. 

He was labeled as ridiculous, foolish, and out of his mind for choosing to take off with that woman in the middle of the night, resenting and relinquishing all of his power to marry and have children with a person who he had only met 15 years ago. The Qinglong had spent 1,000 years answering prayers and granting mortals their wishes, only to throw it all away to be with the one he loved.

He stayed undercover for a while but ultimately was forced to become a god again, against his own individual wishes. He was not filled with any kind of rage or belittlement but instead only felt sadness and defeat, blaming himself for having to leave his beloved.

“I love you, dear… may you never fall for another. I will find a way to come back to you, and I will give my life and soul for you, my love. I will be back for the sake of our beautiful daughter, Dongyang.” 

He muttered out to her in the cold winter night with three celestial gods behind him, waiting to take him back where they thought he belonged. He looked down at the ground for a moment, feeling defeated and hurt. He promised he would return to her. He wanted to be with his love but he ultimately knew that he may never see her ever again.

“P-please… Qin ai de, don't leave. I can't do this alone, I need you- I have no one, they can't take you away! It's- it's not fair! They can't just take you away from me!”

She exclaimed to him, frustrated and angry. She clinged to the fabric of her Hanfu. She was teary-eyed, and her face was contorted to express her deep anguish. She didn't want them to take away one of the only good things in her life. 

She did not want to live without him- no, she couldn't live without him. Not because she depended on him, but because she truly loved him more than anything. 

No one had ever been so kind and gentle with her, and she was not going to let anyone take away the one thing that had finally brought her the joy she wanted her whole life.

“I… don't want to leave. But, my dear, in order for our daughter to lead a normal life and for you all to be safe, I have to leave… I can't stay. Pl-… please, please understand that I will come back. I promise, one day I will be back for you.”

He choked back his tears and stuttered through his words. Qinglong actually didn't know if he could ever come back to her and their child, seeing as how when the gods would finally leave him alone and let him go to his love, it may be many years after his beloved and child would be dead. 

Even so, he still vowed in his heart to return and find his descendants when he was finally free of his pain. He didn't want to waste the little time he had with the love of his life.

He pulled her in and clinged to her one last time, pressing her face into his chest. His body shook, and a tear streamed from his eyes, his voice strained with deep sorrow and love.

“I love you…”

She froze for a moment, her arms shaking as she slowly wrapped them around him. She finally cracked and started to bawl her eyes out, grabbing tightly onto him.

“I never knew how beautiful life could be until I met you… I- I love you…”

The beginning

One late autumn day, many, many years later, the bright red and brown leaves were falling to the ground, and there was a gentle buzz from the soft breeze. Dongyang smiled as she walked in the sun, basking in the warmth, taking in the beauty of the late autumn. 

Moments later, she was kneeling in a nearby shrine devoted to Shenong Da Di, the Divine Farmer, the man who was one of the founders for traditional Chinese medicine. She had lit some incense and was praying with her head down. Dongyang then heard footsteps from behind her and tilted her head up just slightly, waiting for the person to speak.

“Mother, what are you doing here?”

A soft young boy's voice quietly said, coming from her left side.

She looked up at the boy, gave him a tender smile, and stood up to stand next to him.

“I was praying, my dear Bai.”

Dongyang informed, placing her right hand on his shoulder and slowly guiding him out of the shrine.

“I pray everyday, you just so happened to have followed me today."

Qinglong Bai noted what she said and nodded his head, conveying to her that he understood. He looked up to the trees and the sky, watching clouds pass by. Both of their feet were stepping on the fallen leaves while walking on the thin sandy path that had just enough room for two people to walk side by side.

The boy then looked up at his mother and saw the golden light shining from behind her, his head tilted and Qinglong Bai observed her appearance- beautiful soft facial features, bright white hair, and blue eyes that glistened when the sun hit them just right. His mother was very beautiful.

“Hey, dear? There is something I must give you.”

Dongyang said softly, looking down at him, leaves continuing to fall all around them. There was a sudden gust of air, as her hand was still resting on his shoulder gently. 

He focused back on what she was saying and straightened up his back. 

“Yes, mother, what is it?” Qinglong Bai responded.

She lifted her hand off of his shoulder and brought her hand up slowly. Dongyang’s fingers moved to the back of her neck, and she grabbed the pearl necklace she was wearing, lifting it over her head and looking at it for a moment.

As Qinglong Bai looked at his mother, the golden glow of the late sun shone past her arms and around her silhouette like the light wanted to hug her tightly. 

“Take care of this for me, please. My mother got it for me when I was about your age, and now, I want you to have it.”

She turned to the short boy and kneeled down, getting to face level with him. Dongyangs hands that were holding the necklace reach over his head. As she lowered her hands, the pearls gently hitted his shoulders and rested on the base of his neck

“Hmm… it does look big on you, but you’ll grow into it…”

She laughed lightly, her hands resting back down on his shoulders as she looked into her son's eyes.

Qinglong Bai’s eyes drifted down to look at the necklace. He gently grabbed onto the pearls and twisted them on the string they were attached to, admiring the beauty of them shining in the sunset. Qinglong Bai blinked quickly, and he whipped his head back up to look at his mother.

“Thank you, mother… I love it! I love pearls…”

He muttered to her quietly, tears forming in his eyes. His mother noticed this, smiled, and quickly pulled him into a gentle hug to comfort him.

“I know you do. I love you, my dear son.”

She gently patted his back and kissed his forehead.

11 years later

In the celestial realm, the sun was shining on the surrounding clouds, and there was a gentle sound of talking in the background. 

Nushen Xingyun was walking with another one of the goddesses who she was close to and trusted a lot. Suddenly Xingyun and her friend got an intermission from Sanshen Shi, one of the most powerful and respected gods in the celestial realm who has been a god for thousands of years.

The intermission said “Nushen, you are needed in the Divine Stately House for a meeting regarding the new god that is going to be ascending this hour.”

“Nushen Xingyun, we should go now, they need us at the Divine Stately house.”

Said the other goddess, turning their head and going towards the meeting house, but out of nowhere Xingyun placed her hand on the goddesses' shoulder and pulled them back to her, making them turn their head to Xingyun, and their eyes widened from getting startled.

“Ehh, I don't think they really need us. Here, let's just go and have fun in the mortal realm!”

She said, smiling brightly, taking the goddess with her.

In the mortal realm, Xingyun and the goddess disguised themselves with human forms, the ones they most often used, and took a walk through a nearby market to hear the important news as of today. In the market, there were spices, rice, noodles, and some meats and other items for sale. This area was fairly populated and was a very frequently visited place by gods, ghosts, and other unearthly beings.

Xingyun was walking in the market with the abundant noise of chatter, talking and communication. Then she passed by a vendor who was talking with an old man who seemed to be buying from him but something seemed off. The old man suddenly brought up a person who had disappeared and hadn't been seen all day. She slowed down and listened for a second.

“Have you seen Qinglong? I haven't seen him at all today. I went to his shine, where he always is, to pray, but I had not seen him. That's very unlike him. He goes to work at that shrine every single day…”

The old man contemplated in a worried tone, holding a bag of the food that Xingyun assumed he was buying.

“No, I actually have not talked to him in about two weeks… I’m getting a bit scared for him, I hope he’s doing alright.”

He replied while holding a few coins, then placing them in a black box and locking it.

Xingyun was very curious about what they were discussing and decided to walk up and ask them about it. She grabbed her friend's arm and pulled them over to the vendor.

“Ah- Nushen Xingyun, what’s going on?”

They asked, a bit startled by her grabbing their arm.

“Just follow me.”

She answered, continuing to drag them over to the food stand quickly. They both walked over to the man, and Xingyun smiled at him, starting to ask him a question.

“pardon me, sir, but I overheard you talking about a missing person…?”

She inquired, and the salesperson looked up at her and looked a bit surprised at the sudden question.

“Oh- Qinglong Bai? Yeah, we haven't heard from him for a while…”

The man said, turning his head down for a moment, but then looking back up.

“Is there something you want to know about him?”

“Ah, yes, sir! Uhm, who is Qinglong Bai? How do you know him…?”

When Xingyun asked this question, she already had an idea of who Qinglong Bai was. 

Qinglong was a dragon who lived long ago who fell in love with a human and had a child with that woman, but he could not stay because at that time it was unacceptable for gods to have relations with humans.

But, the name Qinglong Bai did not ring a bell. The dragon had named his daughter Dongyang, not Bai. This made Xingyun think that Dongyang had a child, but how related to Qinglong is this person, is what Xingyun wanted to know.

“You must not be from here… Everyone knows Qinglong Bai! He helped my brother when he was deathly ill and when no one else knew how to treat him! I owe my brother's life to him.

I remember my brother was so incredibly sick… I couldn't visit him because he said that he was afraid that what he had was contagious and he would hate to get me sick. I told him I could help him, be able to make him feel better, but he insisted I stay away.

It had been weeks until I would see him again. He was magically better and his complexion was amazing, I was like he was a whole new person. My brother explained that he had written to Qinlong Bai, asking for help and aid with his sickness. 

Qinglong was able to help my brother and have him become healthy again, it was truly amazing.

Qinglong Bai is exceptional and excels in medicine and deserves worship for all of the good deeds he does for our city. He’s truly amazing.”

Xingyun’s eyes widened and realization finally hit her. 

For a mortal to be speaking so highly of this random man, he must be of some kind of significance.

Everything had finally made sense and she had put together that the person who was going to be ascending into the celestial realm was Qinglong Bai, who was most likely a descendant of Qinglong, the dragon god who could never truly be with the one he loved and faded away not too long ago.