do over

I told him I was tired of being here. I told him I didn't wanna be here anymore. what does he do? he keeps looking at his computer I get that he was looking for stuff to cheer me up but he just made it worse. I felt like he wasn't paying attention and that got it my head. "he doesn't care"  even after that I still tried to comfort him even though all of my body was pissed  and mad. me cutting makes him nervous, I thought that was ironic. I haven't relapsed this bad in a year. maybe in another universe I wont freeze up and I'll be able to tell him exactly whats wrong.