Without me

Yesterday I found out that my teacher died. My spanish teacher. In a way it holds a lot of importance. She's the only teacher I think i'd ever remember long term i think i'd remember her for the rest of my life. Not only did so many things begin in her class my freshman year of highschool but since hearing it's all that has been on my mind. I met my first boyfriend in her class. I'm a senior now. I'm still with that boy that I love. I met my best friend in that class. A best friend that I love. I met my first two great big loves in that class. I remember my teacher would pick on me and I remember being annoyed from time to time. But nothing major, nothing that would make me strongly dislike her. She was just a teacher and that was that..a lecture. I forget if she had children but I don't think she had any children, a love of her life, parents, any family really.She's an older woman maybe 70 something. How could she have any family left? I know how fucked up it sounds. All that time alone she must've had to herself. I wonder what she did in the time she had to herself. Her hobbies and such. I wonder about the type of woman she was outside of the time she spent dedicating it to us. I wonder why she never had a family or a husband or anyone around. Not saying you need those things. But i wish she did have those things, because to die alone and be found by your neighbors. All there is left is for the students you taught to care. I know she's in the right hands because I do care if anyone were to care it'd be me even though we didn't cross paths that much. But she remembered me. After all that time i'd pass her and she'd always remembered my name. People would pick on her all the time and I wonder if she knew. I'm no better because I'd find myself avoiding her sometimes. I know it's nothing personal but was it to her? She must've known. I just wonder is all. i could cry for her. I am crying for her.

Hailies song eminem