lets talk film !

ahh, film major here. which means everything I'm about to say is going to be horribly insufferable to the average movie viewer. except- wait... isn't that me? I don't watch many movies, so what the hell am I doing in this major? thanks for asking, me! I'm doing this because I think it's all I've got much of a talent for. do you know me? if you do, you might've heard I do have an award in film. but thats for cinematography! I don't know if I need to care about movies to like recording them, hehe. 

so now that we got the fact I really have no idea what I'm talking about out of the way, it's time for me to talk. I think I'm getting a little tired of hearing about movie release after movie release that's "groundbreaking" and "life-changing" when the movie isn't really changing... anything. over the past few years, I've dragged myself out of my bed to a theater when I see advertising for a movie I think could actually be changing the game. and honestly? I think only one I've seen was actually enough for me to walk away saying "ah, wow. I'm going to be thinking about the message for a while" (and that was The Substance, if you're curious). but, duwwy, haven't you seen I Saw The TV Glow? ohh, much to say about that one. I think the message is much needed right now (a glimpse into the trans experience with commentary on how it's never ever too late to be yourself, which I absolutely agree with) but the way it was executed kind of irks me.

We talked about it briefly in one of my film classes, where the topic of actings influence on film was brought up. the focus of the conversation shifted a bit, but that's generally it. I mentioned that, to me, the acting in I Saw the TV Glow kind of ruined the impact of some very important scenes for me, taking the discomfort the audience is supposed to feel at, say, the ripping of the main characters chest to reveal a glowing tv and replacing it with this subtle feeling of annoyance that I'm not as immersed as I could be because of the actor's inexperience. the discussion group I was in generally agreed with me, but now that I've had time to think about it, I'd like to offer myself a counterpoint: isn't the amateur acting reflective of the trans experience in itself? you're experiencing everything for the first time, is it not fair to be a little put-off by this discovery about yourself you've been avoiding your whole life. good point, me, but I think even then I just struggle to overlook how my immersion was broken from the strange acting.

do I have a point here? no

I'm just talking to talk, like blogs are supposed to be (says me). But I do like to share my opinions in a space people can access only if they want to. I know if you're here, you've clicked through my profile or, worse, tried to visit my website and were redirected here (what were you doing there anyway?). I appreciate you reading nonetheless

If I ever gain some new, nuanced view on what I've written here I'm sure you won't hear me shut up about it. I tend to not let my past self get away with anything, but I think I should give her a break (all to say: future self, have mercy!!). 

thanks for reading. or skimming. or just looking at this line. anyway, thanks