i think im not good enough to put myself out there

I know there are people that are into "gross" and "ugly" traits but I won't put too much hope into that

I'm probably not good for anybody either so maybe it's for the better? I might not know how to love but I still really want it though

or maybe it's just lust, I really can't tell. it's actually very hard to tell

I think I'm craving a lot of physical stuff, sexual and sensual, but I don't know about romance

I wish I had it but I don't know if I.. suffice? 

I'd just really like to have a boyfriend but I can't and won't expect anybody to put up with me, I can't blame people for not being attracted to me at all

I don't consider myself attractive either, I get it 

I'm very jealous of people who are, that really doesn't make anything better

at this point I'd like any attention, I might even fall for someone who I should really not be talking to if they play their cards right and I honestly kind of hope for that

I know it's bad but I can't help it


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