how do I make friends at this point .

I don't know what else to do, I feel like I cannot ask for help from my counselors at School, or my therapist,, im tired of being so lonely and im tired of being socially awkward - what the hell am I doing wrong 

every time I end up making new friends, I either get left out or they are just plain jerks . I usually don't say anything about it because I don't wanna sound needy and controlling, because nobody likes people like that. but I don't know what else to do. I want to talk to more people so bad, I don't know if it's just me being desperate or im just so fucking lonely, I hate it and it's embarrassing. I want to have a best friend like everyone else does . or at least a person that I think as a sibling figure,,, without getting my loyalty getting taken advantage of.  I wanna be someone's favorite person, not even a favorite. I just want someone to like me and appreciate me just as much as I like and appreciate them. 

irl, I suffer from a lot of loneliness . I rarely have anyone my age or near my age to talk to and I hate it, im always surrounded by fucking adults, I hate people who are all grown up . every time I see people in a friend group, I feel this wave of jealousy come over me and I hate it, it makes me feel like a horrible person . I don't want to be jealous. please, I don't think I will ever matter to anyone, and my feelings won't matter either . I don't wanna relapse back into self isolation again.