T _ T New Year Vent/Rant

current listen: wutiwant (Unh0lyMix) - saraunh0ly

For starters, I'm completely new to space hey and this is my first blog.

Now, I'm mostly just overwhemeled! I don't even know where to start.

Let's go balls to the wall and start with last year? ;u;

Last year went fucking crazy cuz it was my first time in an apartment on my own. But the biggest thing that happened was that I broke out of my amnesia. I didn't even know I had amnesia until I came out of it which is very funny because I've been in therapy for my ptsd for 10+ years at this point.

So in 2020 i went into amnesia and came out in October this year.

I also went homeless. It was really wild.

But here's where thing get extremely overwhelming. Fast forward to today, The holidays are over, I'm still recovering from my dissociative amnesia ptsd episode, and I'm studying coding and art and stuff now.

I wanted to join a game jam this year and start work and everything. Im mostly just overwhelmed by a lot of the things I want to do but I can't just yet because of so much going on.

Confession: I started a cult in my amnesia.

it was pretty swag ngl. But that's why I'm sort of anxious. The "cult" is actually an art community that centers trans/autistic/poc people. Sot here isn't really much crazy stuff happening rn in the "cult" besides a toonami throw back watch party on Saturday. :>

But I'm super eager to bring everything back. I took a big step away from it all after my amnesia broke to focus on my recovery and work on the community in a healthier way because my workaholism was insane. Insnaley insane. Not even like the typical wake up and work until I pass work kind of workaholism, but to the point that I killed my ego workaholism.

I'm grey btw, but I wan't when I first made my "cult" last year.

So I'm just really anxious this year to get to the website and make things cool! I want to really just say who we are and what we are about because a lot of people last year confused the "cult" for a sex cult and like OMG WHY!!!!! It was horrible and awful.

So I feel there must be a lot for me to work on... and talk about. I'm honestly just glad to be back now! Cuz when I had manesia I didn't have any memories of who I am I forgot who I was you know?

I know this blog is messy as fuck but I guess writing it made me feel a little better. So I'll write another one sometime soon! 

I made this spacehey as apart of my recovery so that I can connect with myself outside of work you know? like who am I and what do I like and what do I talk about outside of work or community building? just relax and have fun you know? :>

Well good luck me in having fun on space hey and making new friends! good luck!!