✧ Log — #23

sup nerds how's it hanging!

boy, 7 months huh? what a time it's been. i'm writing this on 17% battery, so we'll see if this makes the light of day.

i feel as though i've definitely started to come into my own this past year. i've started to feel a lot of my worries dwindle. they're not entirely gone, but i'm maturing. i'm starting to give less of a fuck. while i do give some fucks, they are, in fact, less than what i used to give.

i feel like i've started to actually mould an identity for myself. i've never quite had a style, always gravitating between interests, outfits and music taste. and of course i still do that, but i'm doing that with more understanding. my friend called the style i've grown into, 'older brother 2000s,' which is fucking spectacular. yes, i'm an older brother, but i'm also a huge hoarder of video games and consoles and i wear camo pants and way too many accessories than i usually should. this is summarising i'm not trying to stereotype, just giving you a picture.

i've been really getting into more tech lately. i bought a ps vita and a ds lite. i've modded my vita, my old 3ds, and my wii. way too scared to mod my switch and ps4, but there's always the future.

also today, which is the most exciting thing i feel, i received my sony walkman! one of those small mp3 players. i used to have an ipod nano when i was a kid, and i lost it. this is bringing back so many memories. i'm so happy to have one again! i think it'll help me move away from spotify as a whole, since i also have many cds and a cd walkman i can use!

i'm working, heading back to uni in march. really excited to start the second year of my degree, and turn fucking 20. isn't that mental? 20 years old, and still a nutjob film and video game nerd with a soft spot for luigi mario. if it wasn't clear i was gay, trans AND autistic, you probably would have guessed it anyway.

i'm currently playing the stanley parable ultra deluxe, persona 4, the quarry, cyberpunk 2077, and red dead redemption 2! i've got way more games to churn through, but these need to be finished first.

i think my goal this year is to focus on myself, figure some things out. where i want to be, how i really want to live. try to give less of a crap about other people's opinions, including my parents', and find my own way into this world. whilst it's impossible for me to move out, own an apartment or a car right now, it's incredibly possible for me to jump into this new life.

oh, and of course the grumps addiction is hitting back like a train, if you couldn't tell by the layout change. it's always been there, but it's kicked back into action recently. i need to watch their shadow of the colossus playthrough again, i miss it so badly.

that's it for now. take it easy!