"Inequited love

Have you ever felt something for a person, but that person doesn't feel the same?

First of all I want to clarify that this story is going to be a bit long and that my native language is Spanish so I apologize if my English is not the best. 

I don't know how to start but I will try to tell this story as best I can, I was in my first year of high school, and I believed that high school was the best place to find love. The second week after I entered high school I saw a boy sitting alone on a bench behind a tree that easily hid him from the view of others, and to be honest from the first moment I saw him I felt something very strong for him. 

He was a very tall, pale boy, too thin, with somewhat long black hair and a degree higther than mine (and he was totally my type) the boy didn't talk to anyone, he always stayed alone where no one could see him, something that made me more interested in him.

 It didn't take me a week to tell my friends about my new love interest but unfortunately, that news reached the ears of my whole classroom, something that I didn't like at all, but what could I do? The best thing I could do was accept it and move on. 

I followed this guy wherever he went (there weren't many places really) so I managed to follow him and see him in a discreet way, but what gave me away and made him realize that he was following him was that when I saw him, he saw him in a somewhat gloomy way (you know like the yanderes of video games) and I think that made him a little uncomfortable, But anyway, I soon started to have information about him, his full name, family, social networks and more (okay, before you think badly of me, all this happened years ago and believe me that I don't agree with those behaviors).

 I also noticed that he soon started spending breaks (breaks he always spent ALONE) with a small group of girls and you will say, what's wrong with me having friends? Nothing, the problem was that her friends saw me really badly almost as if they hated me. This made me start to think that he was really very aware that I saw him and that it was more than clear that I liked him and obviously he told his friends, and I remember perfectly that one day my "friends" decided to bother me by giving that guy a piece of paper with my phone number, this obviously bothered me and made me uncomfortable but my friends didn't care. 

When they finally gave him the paper they came back to me and told me that they didn't tell him what was in the paper and that he would only take it, he didn't take it and one of his friends snatched the paper from him, crumpled it up and then threw it in a trash can that was nearby. Those girls already knew that they were my friends and that it was obvious whose number it was, apparently if they hated me because from what I understand, I really made them uncomfortable and they were obviously going to hate a girl who makes he friend uncomfortable. 

A time after this, my school was going to make a dance where many girls and only one boy were needed. I offered to participate in the dance but since the steps were difficult I could not do them well and that is why I was not chosen to participate in the dance but many girls in my class did, including one of my friends. Getting a group of girls to participate in the dance was easy, the difficult thing was to find a boy who would be encouraged to participate since most of the boys in my school thought they were too "masculine" to participate in a girls' dance so they started practicing the dance without the boy, but a week later I realized that THAT boy, MY boy was going to participate in the dance (I think at this point in the story it's important to give him some kind of nickname so we're going to call him "Kiwi" yes, like the fruit). 

Kiwi was going to participate in the dance, the moment I found out I cursed the moment I was rejected for the show but anyway, it was too late to sign up for the dance. A week later my friend started to bother me telling me that Kiwi was gay, my friend said that she had asked some things about him to some girls in her class but what caught her attention the most is that those girls claimed that he was gay, that he had confessed it themselves and that it was something that all his classmates already knew. 

When my friend told me that I felt a little, bad because obviously she wasn't going to be able to like me as a woman, but I think the worst thing about this is that I decided that it would be gender fluid (I know that's not something that can be decided, but I remember that a part of me did feel that way, But another part of me said that if he looked like a man there was a chance he would like me) so I cut my hair, started dressing more masculine, and even tried to change my voice, just so I could get his attention.

Guys, I think this story is going to be a bit long (because I'm going to try to summarize a love story of almost three years) so I think I'll do it in parts and it would make me very happy if they comment or something like that to know that someone is interested in my stories ^^.