show me guidences

god i am sad. how come my life ended up like this? is this a punishment for me?

a punishment for being weak? for being lazy? for being spoiled? for being arrogant?

please answer me god! let me out of this satan circle, i just want a better life god i want a peaceful life i wannna be useful for my family, i wanna help my mother i wanna make her proud.

everyday i feel more and more useless god...

you're my last hope god, please don't let me down

i'm waiting for your answer.