me and my boyfriend

I love my boyfriend , after a horrible mistake i committed , he questioned me saying " do you really love me " . Hearing those words just made me want to cry for hours . I personally am not social like i used to be , matter fact i been betrayed by many people to the point i keep a tiny circle . I see my boyfriend as my bestfriend . It hurts whenever we hurt eachother , hes the only person i ever trusted with my darkest secrets , my insecurities , and personal things . Sometimes i go insane for him , hes just that important to me . I care about him like a mom cares about her kid , id really do anything to protect him . Him thinking i don't love him just breaks me , after everything we been through i stayed and we made it through , together . I sometimes blame my bpd ( borderline personality disorder ) , it makes shit hard . Its hard to control my anger , my unstable moods , and getting insane because i overthink about  abandonment . Me and My boyfriend have been together for a year and a month , i just know hes the guy i want to wake up to and end the day with . I hope he knows that . I cant afford to loose him . hes a sweetheart .