rant! need help style emo bangs, read bottom text >.<

okay hello! this is my first entry and honestly its js cus im bored. not gonna proof read so sorry about that! if you dont have the energy for all this please go to the ps at the bottom, need help

ive been off work for a couple weeks now for christmas break, im 17, work in a stable and dont go to school. 

im planning on starting school again after summer but im kinda scared. i got bullied a lot in highschool for how i dressed and for being queer and so on and after that i dropped out instead of getting into a gymnasium like the rest of my friends did. ive now been out of school for almost two years now and i finally feel ready to try get that part of my life back.

the only problem now though is that to get into the school i want ill have to write a "resume" sort of thing and if i pass that theyll book an interview and if they think ill fit theyll send me a letter back after that. it feels like getting a fkn job and its very scary. i do have a job now but i didnt need an interview for it since its more of a teens chilling and helping eachother type of thing. 

i have very severe (diagnosed) anxiety from highschool and getting interviewed might be one of the scariest things i can imagine. the simple fact theyll be sitting right in front of me while listening and judging my every word and asking questions i cant even beging to prepare for is a whole fkn nightmare. i mean if it was a job i could at least look up other job interviews and think about salary and learn about the place of work and what they do and so on but this is a school! what do they ask about as a school? :( 

changing topics, i really want a dog. i want one so bad, i used to have one but she died about a year ago and i just miss her so much. mine and my then boyfriends dogs died a week after eachother and he got a new one only a couple monmths after because his mom needed someone running around the house for her to feel good, ive also been coping with their dog but now that we broke up a couple weeks ago i dont know when ill be seeing her next :( i miss the lil thing, shes just a puppy but shes the sweetest baby ive seen. well no, my baby was sweeter but i might be a lil biased. 

my mom also wants a dog and i think my dad does too but im not sure. hes one of those dads who are so very against getting one and then eventually when theyre there they just fall in love and never wants to let go. my mom wants a dog but she also wants to travel which you cant really do if you have one. i guess you can butits a lot more work and planning and stuff and she doesnt want that. with both her and dad working, both of my brothers having moved out and me working half time plus planning on starting school she thinks itll js not be enough time for a dog as well. the school i want to go to is about 30 mins from my home and since im 17 and obviously dont have a license ill have to be driven both to there and to my work as there are no busstops nearby for some dumb reason. she says we can talk abouyt the dog once i have my license so them driving me wont take up as much time and itll be easier to make the time for walks and so on. 

im working on getting my license as soon as i turn 18, both for the dog but also for more freedom. im out test driving almost everyday and today i even went through a drive through for the first time which im very proud of. the first time my "sister" went through one she stopped to far away and had to open the door and get out to grab the food so im very happy that didnt happen to me. 

anyways i think that was all thats on my mind for today and hopefully someone reads it, if not, at least i got it written down somewhere so it doesnt take up space in my mind. 

ps. if someone has any tips on how to style too short sideways emo bangs, please lmk, its awful and i start work in a couple days, i desperatly need to fix this >.<