Relationship Hypotheticals

I feel like its the billionth time I'm talking about something like this, but my problems are always on my mind. i need to get them out somehow

as much as i like the idea of being in a relationship, so many parts bout being in a relationship at my age really bug me out. so many unanswered questions, and nobody who can really answer them for me, let alone even help me get over those fears.

Mainly abt what to do after a breakup and how to tell people in genderfluid before one starts. so, many, fucking- guys assume im just a girl and dont think about the other part because im unable to be open abt it. ((Im closeted to most ppl abt being genderfluid, but im note open abt being bisexual))

theres ONE guy in my school (i sit next to him in my science class) And he's RLLY funny and nice. I never really payed much attention to him because i'll be honest,  (And he seems like a mouth breather !!!!!) BUT HE'S OUTGOING And RLLY SMART and he even has a guinea pig like me!! (her name is blondie :3) so basically, we get along rlly well as friends and have always sat next to each other in science since the beginning of the year, so EVENTUALLY  (now) im kinda concidering if i have feelings for him?? and as much as i know i could be a good girlfriend...

I'd have to be his BOYFRIEND too. and i've never told this kid im genderfluid.

now, im ALREADY scared about dating people in school ( due to my crazy Ex boyfriend being insane and also it was so hard to avoid him in school) so...even though im sure This guy can be a good bf... If er ever break up, how am i supposed to handle STILL being in the same area as my EX???

usually, ive had relationships long distance (on discord, lmao) and whenever i broke up with them, it was easier to distance myself from them, cuz i just had to stop looking at their messages or sites they were on, and BOOM, EZ, no chance of me seeing them ever.

but, by being in SCHOOL with someone..and NEEDING to go places... That would be so hard.

I originally thought "if dating in school is hard, I can just date someone when i leave school! so i dont have to worry about running into them too often!!"

Yea, like making friends after highschool is that easy. i'd be lonely, unless i like...go to clubs and stuff. i havent thought about that much yet.

Basically, this kid is sweet, and rlly smart. BUT Im nervous abt being unable to distance myself IF a breakup happens, and even if i COULD date him bcs im genderfluid and idk if he's straight or not.

Maybe i should figure out how to tell him abt my gender today.

i rlly hope i dont come off as annoying (Blue hair and pronouns)

-Cozmite