Kinda scary dream thing I just had

TWW/// anxiety, fast heart rate, drug experience, bad dream

Bro, I was trying to sleep and actually came close to it. Today started out as a very lazy day, but in the second half I actually got things done. I cleaned my room, swept the house, and put in a TON of laundry. I took a bath. All while listening to a dark makeshift audiobook. I downloaded a book from Archive.org and had Microsoft read it out loud to me through my waterproof speaker. Now, I hate seeing the surge of AI-generated content but I love seeing TTS features when they’re designed for accessibility purposes. I hope more advanced voices are built for this reason. I find Microsoft’s voices to be way more advanced than Apple’s. But I digress!

Anyway, I hardly remember what I was dreaming about. I recall like Deja vu… I’m pretty sure the other night I was ‘in’ a guy’s body but I was watching him play Animal Crossing: New Leaf as he toured his well-made town at night. This time, he visited someone’s dream address. In real life, I went and touched a ladybug. Almost killed it in the process, I felt bad and let it go.

Now I’m in a bathtub. My chihuahua is resting on the rug in front of it. I have my phone in hand, battery is low. I reach down for the unplugged charger, and as I’m pulling it closer to me the end of it accidentally slides behind my back. BOOM. The electric shocks the water I’m in, and somehow extends to my chihuahua. Her body twists me contorts in intense degrees. I haul my entire nude body over and lay down next to her. I slowly push her body multiple time. I’m like in disbelief. For one, I can’t believe my charger would cause a reaction like that. It went full blown Chucky throwing a television in Tiffany’s bathtub on me. Charger hadn’t been used in a bit. I’m shaking my dog’s body, but she’s not responding to me.

That’s when I wake up, pulling my body up. Then I try to fall back asleep… I hear knocks on the door. I’m too exhausted to say anything. They could only come from one person - my brother. Knocks don’t go away, so I mutter a “come in.”

 Brother storms in. “Why didn’t you answer me?” And then as he comes closer… “What did you think that noise came from?” What noise. Did I dream something based on what just happened? I raise my head back up and look toward him, but he’s gone. My door is closed. I would have heard the door click if he left. I shake my dog to hear that growl. Proof nothing happened.

The scary thing is how fast my heart was beating. It wasn’t super fast, but faster than normal. So for the past ten minutes, I’ve been listening to a ‘lower heart rate level’ subliminal on YouTube, and what do you know? It’s working B)

I have the BIGGEST fear of my heart beating fast than normal because it never happens to me. In like May of last year I had my first drug experience with a weed edible. Never. Again. I’m almost glad I did it because I think I’m weened off of drugs forever. I ate a stupid amount of that edible and hours later my heart rate was going soo fast. I was worried I’d get a heart attack. It didn’t take until me vomiting EVERYWHERE for it took stop. Weed makes your heart beat faster anyway. No thank you, Satan.

A few months after that I had another bad heart experience. I wasn’t sure what happened. Maybe I took my morning pill instead of my night pills? But I was trying to go to sleep and I noticed my heart was beating too fast. I was sleeping on my sides. I went to go on the couch while listening to lower heart rate subliminals. Went to the kitchen and laid on that rug as my heart just kept getting faster. I went to the kitchen because I was dry heaving. Eventually it went away.

I know I sound like a fool mentioning subliminals twice lmao. I know they don’t replace medical attention. But  hey - My heart rate is now back to normal and I think it’s also in part of writing this to get my mind off of things B)

Btw I would have thought I was hallucinating and losing my marbles during the brother blip because I wasn’t dreaming at that point… But I am aware of the existence of hypnogomic hallucinations, which are what you can experience just as you’re trying to fall asleep or you’re waking up. One morning a few years ago, I had one of a kangaroo walking around, trying to break into a gas station. ^_^ Speaking of drugs maybe I’ll make a blog post of me tripping BALLZ over accidentally taking the wrong cough medicine in seventh grade. Coolest and scariest night of my life… Don’t do drugs, kids. Good night and sweet dreams!