Reflection on New Years for me (2/1/2025)

I'm just gonna write some thoughts i've had this last few days, it has been one hell of a year.

I always get sad this time of year because i still remember how it was on 2021 when i promised myself it was going to be finally my last year alive, how i met my now girlfriend, and how i went to therapy and well it helped me a lot (i'm still alive and that's a win, also i'm okay with being alive now <3).

Today my brother brought his girlfriend home, he has been talking to me about her for like a month, she has some issues, but if he's happy then what can i say? I'm fucked in the head and my gf is still with me (third aniversary soon <333), but i mistreated her in private talking to him, and didn't realize it... I have apologized but it made me realize how hard it is to actually say sorry to anyone in my family. So, i don't recall a single time either my mom or dad has actually said sorry, i'm not even used to the word in my house, outside it's fine i can say sorry and all but i just can't with them. It's not a problem with my parents because whatever, therapy helped me realize how toxic they are and whatever, but he doesn't deserve it, anyone has any advice for it?

One of my goals for this year is to go get my own apartment, and also finally finish my thesis (so i can actually become an engineer lol) but we'll see, for now i just wanna be happy.