the weight of being the best academically

ok so im the middle child in my family and ive always been the most dedicated to studying out of all the children. guess its because i guilt trip myself into studying even when i dont feel like it. i just get so anxious thinking about failing in any school aspect because i know how much energy and money my parents gave out so that i could study comfortably. even tho my university is payed out out of the goverment's fund, i still feel like i own my parents for even having such strong dedication and will to learn and become succesfull in my career. sometimes i feel a certain pressure being put on me by some family members. they are always talking about my grades and how im going to be get a doctors degree and i feel like they would see me as a dissapointment if i dont follow that path in the end. i want to persue my career out of my own free will and i dont want anyone to pressure me constantly as if i dont put enough stress on myself already. im however thankful for my parents for always believing in me and pushing me to my limits because i dont think i would care this much about education if it wasnt for them. i want to continue learning, keeping my knowledge up to date because only doing that would i feel acomplished.