a thought I keep having

So, I cannot for the life of me figure out what my sexuality is. Sometimes I think I'm straight, and then I think I'm bi, and then I think I'm pan, and it's just a never-ending cycle. If I had it my way, I just wouldn't put a label on it, and I'd be fine with that. I honestly really hate labels. But they do make me feel a lot more secure in my feelings/experiences. It's also hard to not have labels for stuff when people are always asking about it. I constantly get questions about what my sexuality is. Although I always tell people I'm straight, I really don't think I am. I also feel like if I start telling people I'm bi, people will think I am lying for attention. One of the reasons I am so back and forth between straight and bi is because I can't tell the difference between attraction and admiration. I can't figure out if I am just admiring a woman's beauty or if I'm attracted to her beauty. It's driving me crazy. Another thing that makes me feel like maybe I'm not bi, is because when girls have tried to date me, I have never felt the same about them. But when girls have shown more hook upy interest in me rather than wanting to date me, I've felt way more "attracted" to them. (attracted????? idkkkk) So to sum up, I am so confused and idk what to do about it. Not really asking for advice, just needed to rant.